With Semester 2 well underway, the residential colleges have allegedly been transformed into a cesspit of unknown bacteria, threatening the social lives of freshers left, right, and centre. Yet the unspoken question lies unanswered – are you gonna get Covid, strep or the flu by accidently passing one outside St Daves?
First-year residents interviewed from Carrington, Salmond, and Unicol were all in agreement about the recent upsurge in illness sweeping their corridors. When asked about the potential increase in infection, one Carrington resident claimed she could “feel it in the air”. Special shoutouts for that “one specific cough, you can hear it in the phlegm”. Ew (gag).
In a statement provided to Critic Te Ārohi by Director of Campus and Collegiate Life Services James Lindsay, he acknowledged that “there has been an increase in respiratory infections and illnesses across the University Community” with many students “voluntarily opting to isolate in their rooms”. However, Lindsay provided no indication of exactly how many students have been hit by the latest surge of fresher flu.
On a slightly more earnest note, one Salmond interviewee told the story of her mate “puking in a bush in the Botans” after attempting the treacherous hike to St Dave’s while plagued with the most recent mystery infection. A nice mix-up from puking in the Subs line, which will undoubtedly have some freshers fighting both alcohol and flu-related bugs on student night.
While spikes in illness are undoubtedly expected around this time of year, you would’ve thought a world run by AI could also fight the common cold. Yet with the first Sem 2 Health Sci test just gone by, one resident of another college told Critic, “It’s debilitating, everyone’s drugged up.” (And certainly not on the normal mix of gear and ket). The poor freshers have been left vitamin C maxing in the hopes they’ll make it to second-year.
Meanwhile, it appears most freshers are opting out of isolation in favour of socialisation and human connection (watch out, you could be sitting next to one). When asked about the topic, one Salmond resident replied, “Why would I want to spend a whole day in my tiny little room? We should be isolating for all of it, but no one does.” It seems as though the depression associated with Covid has stimulated an epic wave of lecture-related FOMO. Drowning out your lecturer with the sound of the mucus in the back of your throat must be worth it to some, apparently.
When asked about the implementation of protocols in relation to minimising sickness in halls, Lindsay referenced the “College Handbooks and the Residents’ Guide to Colleges” as the go-to for fighting fresher flu. Advice to students includes: “Advising a staff member, self-isolation, encouraging social distancing and hygiene.” Critic is not currently sure as to whether it is possible for freshers to adopt such human tendencies, but we will get back to you on that one.
In terms of diagnosing Dunedin’s latest mystery plague, it appears Covid is out of fashion, and blindly hoping for the best is in. Lindsay confirmed that residential colleges no longer provide RAT tests to residents on account of the cuts to government funding of Covid tests in 2024. Meanwhile, freshers appear to be content adopting the “I’ll be fine” mentality to Covid, as stated by one particularly diseased Carrington resident.
So next time you hear a first-year hacking and spluttering round the corner in Central, your only option may be to run away. In the words of James Lindsay, “If your symptoms are not improving call Healthline or book an appointment with your GP”. Don’t forget about the immunocompromised student population either; sometimes it’s best to wag those lectures and sleep in rather than spread your germs further.