The Best Anonymous Comments From the OUSA Referendum

The latest OUSA referendum was one of the most interesting referendums in recent memory, which is to say it was slightly less interesting than green top milk.

Highlights included 88.5% of students agreeing that fucking freshers shouldn't be allowed to go to Hyde, and a tragic minority of 15.7% voting for OUSA to change its colour from green to orange.

OUSA let us have the anonymous comments after we threatened to throw a hissy-fit if we didn’t get our way. Here are some of the best: 

 

Boring question about accepting some report

bruh if there are more questions like this, I'm boutta head out But yeah the report was fine, nauseatingly positive

Shut OUSA down. No legal requirements = no legal OUSA which suits me.

 

Buying Marsh Study Centre and Turning it back into Gardies Pub

Necromancy, whilst admirable, is not feasible. Spend the money to make Starters better.

Drinking is a primitive culture that should not be encouraged. Internationally, its very embarrassing. Any encouragement of this "culture" should be avoided.

 

Boring question about Ombudsman

THIS SHOULD BE SOMETHING NZUSA OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED SHOULD BE PAYING FOR. WHY ARE YOU PAYING 45K AND YOU ARENT EVEN BEING SUPPLIED WITH AN OMBUDSMAN????

 

Environmental question #356

CLIMATE CHANGE MUST BE DEALT WITH OR WE ARE ALL DOOOOOOOOOMED

install hydro in leith

 

Bringing back free flu jabs

Harlene Hayne earns six figures and gets a free staff one.

Bring it to Southland campus

 

Establishing an OUSA brewery

Duh! hit me up, it's legit the only way I make rent each week. - student on Albany st

 

Printing majors and minors on degree certificates

idk if i want employers to know i got a theatre studies degree lmaooo

 

Critic making more video content

The Critic are a toxic publication which is obsessed with walking the line between being "woke" and "brethas". They pull off neither and are widely criticised and discredited. Avoid too much association, not a good look for the OUSA.

BRING BACK ROGER YAN!

Are you providing them with more resources and staffing to do so? Voting 'No', but actually open to it - although it's likely to videos of them getting wasted in their office so don't know if I'd ever watch it

get rid of Joel MacManus

IT WOULD BE COOL BUT ONLY IF THE CRISTIC WITERS WOULD WANT TO DO IT AND THERE IS A PLAN OR A KIND OF ROSTER TO MAKE SURE THERE ISNT UNFAIRNESS AND OVEREXHAUSTING THE WRITERS

They should release online copies of the each issue (not just parts)

That's their business not mine where's the skip button

 

Radio One being played on campus

Yes. However... Let's be honest, Radio One does fuck all to engage students. I love it (and them) but it's been too hipster elite-ish for too long. Bring it back to the people! Unleash the DnB! And btw OUSA, if you EVER think of selling Radio One I will track you all down, eat a MASSIVE curry, and I. Will. Shit. On. Your. Doorstep.

 

Try get the Uni WiFi to stop blocking porn

You can masturbate on your own data connection, thank you

some weirdos are going to end up wanking in the library so miss me on that shit please

If I want to take a quick break from study to crank one out in the disabled stall that is my God given right

lemme see some tiddies

 

OUSA to hold a competition to see who can eat the most limes (the fruit, not the vehicle)

Hey I suggested this question! Um it was a joke, I doubted it would be accepted. Do whatever you want.

Good on the memer who submitted this

Stock up on them while they cheap fam - 6.99 per kilo now, sometimes up to 20

my friend submitted this so out of loyalty

This is the most pointless referendum question I have ever seen in all of the OUSA referendum's that I've done - please, please make this happen.

as long as the limes come with a shot of tequila

Should OUSA hold a competition to see who can rail the most lines?

Sounds unsafe in terms of gastric/duodenal acid irritation. I am a final year medical student and I think that sounds like it will harm peoples' health.

I'll turn up

yes i would win

 

More books in the library

I LIKE BIG BOOKS AND I CANNOT LIE You other readers can't deny When a good book walks in with A good plot base And a big spine in your face You get sprung! Wanna get out your notepads 'Cause you noticed that book Was dense. Deep in the book I'm reading, I'm hooked and I can't stop Speeding, through Baby I wanna get that literature, And Instagram that picture, My teachers try to train me But that book you've got Makes me so brainy! (Baby got books!)

I was unaware that the libraries had a net deficiency in books.

replace askotago with books

Finally a question actually worth engaging in.

 

OUSA changing their colour from green to orange

Nice try, James Heath

I suggest hot pink.

NO THANKS GREEN LOOKS GREAT PLUS GREEN IS BLUE AND YELLOW MIXED TOGETHER

We suffered enough under John Key's flag change shenanigans, please dont make us suffer through this again

I'm voting yes for the meme, please don't actually change it

Orange is an VERY DISGUSTING COLOUR AND I HATE IT. I would never go anywhere near OUSA cause it would make me want to puke. GREEN is THE BEST COLOUR. and if you change it i will fight you

 

“Should OUSA, in principle, support the restoration of meaningful policy-making powers to Student General Meetings, and direct the Executive to devise appropriate constitutional changes to give effect to this?”

piss off rowing club

pls let me abstain from questions for the love of god

This article first appeared in Issue 14, 2019.
Posted 11:36pm Thursday 4th July 2019 by Charlie O’Mannin.