Not Quite 50 Shades of Cricket …
I am firmly in the synthetic and inflatable camp of sports fan, but with half of the 49 Cricket World Cup games being played in our backyard, it is hard not to get excited by the dominating form of the Black Caps so far. Their performances have attracted much praise from the world’s media and prove they are serious contenders to finally lift the cup in Melbourne at the end of the month.We may well have gotten a preview of that final with the crucial and exciting game between New Zealand and Australia. The tension and drama created by the low-scoring match and the last-wicket stand made for some great viewing. The Black Caps made things difficult for themselves, but Kane Williamson steadied the ship through our middle-order wobble and finished the game in style by smashing a six for the win in what was easily the game of the tournament so far.
The game even replaced #thedress as the top-trending Twitter tag of the day.
Brendon “Bazz” McCullum has been leading by example — showing everyone how it should be done with bat in hand. With the ball, Tim “the Pest” Southee destroyed England with a world-record bag of seven wickets, and Trent “Usain” Boult did the damage against the Aussies, taking five wickets. Australian commentators invoked the “Ross Defence”, i.e. “we were on a break”, to explain their rusty batting performance, as their match against Bangladesh in Brisbane was cancelled due to a tropical cyclone, meaning that they hadn’t played since their Valentine’s Day massacre of England in Melbourne.
Reality Bites for the Presumptuous Poms …
Speaking of England, it must be pretty embarrassing for them. Inventing a game that becomes globally popular, then looking on as their former colonies in Africa, Asia and the South Pacific become much better at the game, despite what their media would have you believing. The same can be said about football, rugby, tennis and basically any other sport to have come out of the British Isles.Having never won the World Cup, a return to the final looks highly unlikely for England this year as the remnants of their once-great empire have dished out some nasty defeats to their former colonial masters, leaving the “Three Lions” rattling around the bottom of group A with very little to roar about.
Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden …
Golf. Yes, golf. We are reporting on golf in Critic now. And, more specifically, ladies’ golf, which from a Kiwi point of view offers much more to get excited about than the men’s game recently and puts to rest the urban legend of the false acronym often cited as the etymology of the word golf.Kiwi golfer Lydia Ko’s rapid rise is nothing short of amazing, and her record-breaking round on her way to win at the recent NZ Open at Clearwater in Christchurch has cemented her position as the youngest-ever World No 1. However, I am the first to admit that had she chosen to play with a Korean flag next to her name, we probably wouldn’t be paying her any attention at all. But she has reignited New Zealand’s interest in golf, as we haven’t had much to get excited about since Michael Campbell’s unlikely win at the 2005 US Open.
The $3 million in prize money that she has won since turning pro in 2013 is probably more than any of us can hope to earn in our lifetimes, if we ever graduate from this fine university and pay Uncle John back. Lydia - call me.