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Critic’s first experience of an outdoor Exec meeting wasn’t quite the delightful nature encounter that we were hoping for. Instead, it was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. Luckily, caged President Logan Edgar was on hand to provide the lols, not to mention the hot chocolate bribe they gave us at the start that had the potential to send the drinker into hyperglycaemic shock. The actual meeting itself was a bit of a fizzer, as some carpet cleaning machine over in the vicinity of Lex’s hangout made it near on impossible to hear a word that anyone, bar those sitting directly next to you, were saying. Chinese whispers ensued to pass on anything that seemed important, which was little to nothing.

Seven randoms turned up at the start of the meeting to see what was going on with the congregation outside the cage. This number quickly dwindled to three about five minutes in – a wise choice by the lucky four escapees. One geriatric old mate kept asking Execies to speak up so he could hear them. From our experience at these things, he was missing nothing, and should have spent more time listening to the soothing sounds of the carpet cleaning machine, which was similar to a spoon being put in the garbage disposal while it’s on.
 
The only real happening at the meeting was Returning Officer Imogen Roth’s report on the Presidential by-election. Surprise, surprise, she said that sending two forms of the OUSA Constitution to referendum was a disaster and nobody understood the differences between the two, let alone took the time to read either. That’s apparently getting worked on for next time. Critic can’t wait.
 
Logan’s Dad turned up partway through the meeting with six bags full of gear for him, leading Critic to ponder exactly how long he was planning on staying in the cage. Dad then waved a pair of undies at the Exec, which Logan recommended no one smell, as “they won’t be clean.” Absolutely delightful. He also announced to the meeting that he hadn’t brushed his teeth that morning, and tried to move a motion that he was allowed “to do wees.” Sarah told him to sort that out after the meeting, in an attempt to “keep things professional,” so no doubt she was on bucket-holding duty for him after we left. Bonding at it’s finest, here’s hoping for her sake that there was no splash-back.