Flogging a dead horse to some degree, Critic Te Ārohi asked the University for any word on why the infamous white box still hasn’t been lifted outside St Dave’s. A bit like a kid in the backseat of a car repeatedly asking their parents “Are we there yet?” Once again, we were stonewalled, only being told they “are expecting to be able to unveil the pou whenua before the end of the year.”
In the absence of any real knowledge of the subject, students of the Otago University have had enough, finding themselves lost in a hole of conspiracy theories and bottomless rage in reaction to the continued delays. Critic Te Ārohi reached out to the disgruntled many, uncovering some curious theories that can only come from the boredom of looking at a white box day in and day out.
Speaking bluntly, one student Griffin said, “Who gives a fuck?” asking that the University simply remove the white box so students could live free of internal torment. Another student, Esther, repeated Griffin's sentiments, stating, “I didn’t know it was there as a box, that’s not going to change when you take the lid off.” But what’s stopping this process? The University said, “It will be revealed to the public once the remaining work and the appropriate tikanga Māori measures have been completed.” This answer is consistent with reports issued to the ODT and Critic Te Ārohi months ago, so what gives?
One student, Briar*, got to thinking on the issue, stating, “It’s all a conspiracy… my theory is that the University is using the statue as a base for a network of underground tunnels.” Her second theory - one we understand is shared by many - was that “they’ve got it the wrong way around and haven’t figured out how to turn it back yet.” That would be embarrassing. Suspiciously, the University ignored our question asking if there was any truth to these rumours.
Asked about the likelihood of a conspiracy, Lily told Critic Te Arohi, “Yeah it’s possible.” Still she argued, “Would it really make a difference which way you face it, no one’s going to notice once it’s out.” To this degree, she mused that it was perhaps the University’s delay which would make people notice.
With a prophetic tone, Griffin took a different stance, stating, “This way or that way, it’s still watching over the people and keeping them safe.” Possibly alluding to the pou whenua’s existence as an omnipotent entity entrapped in the casing of a white cube, Griffin’s comments further emphasised the great need for it to be unleashed from its cage.
Though the University is “expecting to be able to unveil the pou whenua before the end of the year,” the student cries of “get it over with already” are mounting. Until it is eventually unveiled, the conspiracy lives on. A trapped deity or a statue simply turned backwards: we’ll leave that for you to agonise over.
*Name changed.