Sources close to the Mayor claim that the attempt to make George Street pedestrianised occurred after a run-in with DCC parking wardens. Mayor Hawkins’s close confidants reported that the recent attempts to remove cars from George Street is an attempt to put parking wardens out of a job. “Fucking fascists, all they do is drive up and down George Street on those stupid tricycle things, I’m just sick of it”, said someone who claimed to be “the Mayor’s soulmate and majordomo”. During one incident, this source said that the warden reportedly claimed that “I don’t enjoy this anymore than you mate”, although this statement was immediately invalidated by his clearly visible erection. Although removing all cars from George Street may be seen as a knee-jerk reaction, our source clarified that his knee has never actually “jerked” during a reflex test, so therefore this must be reasonable.
Parking Wardens Suspected as Cause for Pedestrianisation
