Editor’s Note: This poem was originally published in Critic in the year of the Lord AD 2002. The notable thing about 2002 (apart from the release of The Wild Thornberrys Movie) is that the Critic Editor that year was Patrick Crewdson, who is now the Editor-in-Chief of Stuff. He is a real important boi who would never do the foolish silly things we fuck-arounds at Critic do.
Patrick dedicated a full five pages in Critic to this poetic masterpiece. I am only willing to give it two pages, because I am not as good of an Editor as he is.
SEE SPOT
SEE KNIFE
SEE STOVE
SEE SPOT BURN
SEE DICK INHALE
DICK IS SPOTTING
SPOT, DICK, SPOT
SEE DICK GRIN
GOOD SPOT
SEE JANE WATCH DICK SPOT
SEE DICK SPOT JANE
BURN, SPOT, BURN!
SEE DICK AND JANE LAUGH
HA HA, LAUGHS DICK
HE HE, LAUGHS JANE
HA HA HA
HE HE HE
HA HA HA
HE HE HE
LAUGH, DICK AND JANE!
LAUGH, DICK AND JANE, LAUCH!
“WELL, WHAT ARE WE LAUGHING ABOUT?” ASKS DICK
“YOUR FUNNY NAME,” SAYS JANE.
DICK’S NAME IS VERY FUNNY
DICK AND JANE ARE INTOXICATED
CAN YOU SAY THAT?
THEY CAN’T
“LETS GET SOMETHING TO EAT,” SAYS JANE
DICK AND JANE GO TO THE TWO FOUR
THEY DRIVE VERY SLOWLY
DICK BUYS BREAD ROLLS
JANE BUYS A PIE, A PASTRY, A TIN OF FISH AND SOME WHIPPED CUSTARD.
JANE IS USING EFTPOS
SHE GOES BACK AND BUYS SOME FIZZY DRINK CYLINDERS
THEY LAUGH ALL THE WAY HOME
DICK AND JANE COME HOME
THEY ARE VERY HAPPY
SEE JANE SPOT DICK’S DICK
SEE DICK DICK JANE
THEY ARE VERY FLEXIBLE
THE END