Culture

Written/Directed by: Drake Floyd. Starring: Michael Stephenson, George Hardy, Margo Prey, Connie McFarland, Robert Ormsby.


The only thing that links this film to the original Troll is the title; there are in fact no trolls in this film. Instead, goblins rein supreme in this truly awful, but-has-to-be-seen-to-be-believed, cult masterpiece. I had the great privilege of watching Troll and Troll 2 as they were on the same DVD. Skip Troll; it’s kinda boring and not really worth it except for the fact that it associates a character named Harry Potter with magic and wizardry about ten years before J.K. Rowling “came up with the idea”.
 
Troll 2 is where it’s at, it’s so weird, so beautifully terrible. Words fail to describe what watching this movie is akin to. One might suggest some kind of bad acid trip but even that seems inadequate. The “plot” sees a city dwelling family, the Waits, switch houses with a family from the small town of Nilbog. Young Joshua Waits converses with his dead grandpa, who tells him stories about evil vegetarian goblins who turn people into plants and eat them. What Josh soon discovers is that the stories his grandpa is telling him are real, when he sees that Nilbog is, wait for, goblin spelt backwards, and that Nilbog is the hub of goblin activity. If that sounds stupid, just wait till you see how the “actors” try to bring the story to life.
 
There are so many hilarious moments in the film. Watch out for the mother who has the exact same facial expression and tone throughout the entire movie. The infamous “Oh my God” scene, when Josh pisses on the family’s meal – “You can’t piss on hospitality” – and when a goblin tries to seduce a young man with a cob of corn and leaves him surrounded by popcorn. Not to mention the dead grandpa who sometimes manifests himself as a real person and can stop time.
 
The rumours around the film’s creation sound just as chaotic and absurd as the plot. Written/directed by an Italian filmmaker who spoke little English, the movie was cast with actors who had little to no experience acting and crew who couldn’t speak English, making the cluster-fuck that is Troll 2 all but inevitable. If you have to see any film between now and when you die, it’s Troll 2.