Fuck, I Canít Cook!

Fuck, I Canít Cook!

Macaroni and Cheese

Few things in life are as good as a bowl of carbohydrate drenched in creamy, cheese laden sauce. Some people like to add veggies to their mac and cheese, and look, I will not judge you if you do that. You are free to make your mac and cheese as you wish. In my opinion though, a good mac and cheese should be as beige as possible and absent of any nutritional value. The only two things that could make this meal any better are a glass of wine and some garlic bread. 


Serves 4-6

·       500g ‘short’ pasta (I like rigatoni, but penne and macaroni works)

·       50g butter

·       2 tsp fresh sage 

·       3 1/2 Tbsp flour

·       600ml warm milk (I heat in the microwave for a minute or so)

·       3 cups cheese, grated

·       2 tsp mustard

·       1/2 tsp nutmeg

·       Pepper

·       Cayenne pepper, to taste, optional


  1. Cook pasta in boiling salted water until al dente (this means slightly undercooked – the pasta should have some chewiness and bite to it). Before you drain, reserve a cup of the pasta water and set aside. Drain the pasta and set aside.
  2. In a medium sized pot over medium heat, melt butter with sage. 
  3. Once the butter is fully melted and starts to foam slightly, stir in flour and cook for another minute, until you can’t see any flour. Continue to stir and cook off for 30 seconds. 
  4. Remove the pot from the heat, and slowly whisk in milk a bit at a time. Continuously whisk to prevent lumps from forming. Once fully combined and smooth, return the pot to a medium heat, and gently but constantly stir until thickened and bubbly.
  5. Remove the thickened sauce from the heat, and gently whisk in cheese, mustard, nutmeg and pepper. Check for seasoning; if it requires salt, do add some (but be cautious – the cheese is quite salty). Also add more mustard, nutmeg, cheese or pepper if you wish. I also like to add a touch of cayenne pepper. 
  6. Stir through the pasta. Add a splash of pasta water if the sauce becomes too thick.
This article first appeared in Issue 18, 2021.
Posted 2:33am Monday 9th August 2021 by Alice Taylor.