Fuck, I Canít Cook!

Fuck, I Canít Cook!

I am an advocate for potato in any form, but bangers and mash is one of my favorite ways to consume this glorious food. On countless occasions, I plan to cook this meal, then give up on the bangers and eat the mash by itself. I encourage you to cook the whole dish – it is utterly delicious.

Mashed potato 

4 large potatoes, peeled and diced 

1 cup cream or full fat milk (cream is better), warmed

1/2 cup cheese, grated

1/4 tsp nutmeg



  1. Boil potatoes in water with a pinch of salt for 10-15 minutes, or until tender.
  2. Drain.
  3. Add milk, cheese, nutmeg, a pinch of salt and pepper, and mash.
  4. Taste and check for seasoning. 

Bangers and onion gravy 

Splash of oil

Knob of butter 

4 onions, peeled and sliced 

5 cloves garlic, peeled and finely sliced 

1 tsp rosemary

1 tsp thyme 

1 tbsp Brown sugar

1 ½ tbsp flour 

1 ½ cup stock 

½ tbsp mustard

½ tbsp soy sauce 

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

8 sausages

  1. Heat a large saucepan over medium heat. Add a splash of oil, knob of butter, onions, garlic, rosemary, thyme, brown sugar, salt, and pepper. Cook for 15 minutes, until golden and caramelized. If the bottom of the pan begins to get dark, add a splash of water to deglaze the pan. 
  2. Meanwhile, cook the sausages in another pan.
  3. Add flour to the onions and stir until fully incorporated (you can’t see any more flour)
  4. Slowly pour in the stock, stirring, until fully combined. 
  5. Add the mustard, soy sauce and vinegar. 
  6. Simmer for 5 minutes.
  7. Taste and check for seasoning.

To serve: put the bangers on top of the mash, then pour over the onion gravy.

This article first appeared in Issue 14, 2021.
Posted 1:47pm Tuesday 13th July 2021 by Alice Taylor.