Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

Were you silent, or were you silenced?

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Going to rehab 

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

You need an ego check.

Tabloid scandal to revisit: The Crown killed Diana 

 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Tis the season to be an attention whore. 

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

Time to snuggle up with a cup of tea and binge watch some reality TV, you deserve a break. 

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Free Britney 

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

It’s finally your season! May the chaos, hypocrisy and good times begin. 

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Jennifer Aniston tries to find love 

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

Time to sort out those finances! Daddy’s card won’t work for much longer. 

Tabloid scandal to revisit: The college admissions scandal 

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

Thinking about studying isn’t actually studying.

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Ellen DeGeneres 

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Balance, abundance and a nice long break are all in the future. Keep working hard. 

Tabloid scandal to revisit: The curse of the Glee Cast  

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

Remember, keeping up personal hygiene is important.

Tabloid scandal to revisit: What happened to Amanda Bynes?

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

Imma let you finish, but scorpio is one of the best signs of all time. 

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Kylie’s secret pregnancy 

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

The planets are fucking with you. Balance will come soon, have faith.  

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Kanye 2020

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

Stop thinking everyone is watching you, you aren’t THAT great. 

Tabloid scandal to revisit: Ariana Grande licking the donut