Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

There are plenty of fish in the sea, stop catching feelings.

Accessory of choice: chokers

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

Keep doing your hot pisces shit, don’t let anyone steal your energy this week baby.

Accessory of choice: new shoes

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Stop asking your new love interest from Hyde how they’re going. They don’t care about you.

Accessory of choice: beaded necklaces

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

It’s finally your season. Light up that joint and vibrator.

Accessory of choice: bedazzled bong

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

It’s time to do your flat chores, lazy fuck.

Accessory of choice: one of your personalities

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

This week, try finding a sense of humour.

Accessory of choice: a wallet phone case 

Leo

July - Aug 22

Your Hyde comedowns will last for the next 2 weeks.

Accessory of choice: Vintage snood

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Your superiority complex? Get rid of it, it doesn’t look good on anyone.

Accessory of choice: chunky jewellery

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

It’s time to find more clarity. Burn all your shit in a pile of rage.

Accessory of choice: butterfly hair clips

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

This week is looking steady for you. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Accessory of choice: friendship bracelets

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Sleeping with your ex? Time to move the fuck on.

Accessory of choice: emotional intelligence

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

Fucking crackhead hours for you this week.

Accessory of choice: leg warmers.