Booze Reviews | Social RTDs

Booze Reviews | Social RTDs

Social sent us through a mixture of all three of their drinks so I decided to try them all. They all come in 10 x 330 mL boxes and are only 5% ABV. At their usual price of $25 this brings them in at $1.92 per standard, which is very steep.

 

White Rum Pina Colada

This one was rough. As a cultured man, I’ve had a fresh pina colada before and it was better in literally every way. Basically, the pina colada RTDs tasted like sugary yak. I honestly pity anyone who unknowingly buys a whole box of these. I couldn’t even get through a single can before foisting it onto my flatmates. They mostly hated it, although apparently it tastes better mixed with beer. I don’t know if any beer (except for Tui obviously) deserves that treatment. They created this drink because it sounded great on paper, but no one actually bothered to taste it before sending it out. If you want to stay sober on a night out, I would recommend buying some of these.

Tasting notes: vomit, regret

Froth level: mixing drinks to make them less shit, but just creating something worse

Pairs well with: sobriety, blocking your nose to avoid tasting, malaria

Taste rating: 1/10, no bueno

 

Vodka, Strawberry, Mint, Sparkling Water

Strawberry milk is one of my favourite drinks, followed closely by chocolate milk. Banana milk can get fucked. They have definitely used strawberry milk flavouring in this drink but in the worst way. Strawberry milk is a masterpiece because the light and fragrant taste of the strawberries is grounded in the fattiness of the milk. 

With an RTD, there is no similar balance. It tastes like they’ve literally just tipped a bottle of three-in-one strawberry body wash into a vat of vodka. The mint makes no sense whatsoever because it just makes the fragrance problem worse. This was definitely more drinkable than the pina coladas, but not by much.

Tasting notes: bad strawberry milk without the milk

Froth level: fucking up simple tasks

Pairs well with: disgraced childhood heroes, tears

Taste rating: 2/10 would not recommend

 

Gin, Yuzu, Sparkling Water

I’m not sure if this was actually good, or if I was just stoked to have something that was actually drinkable after the last two. The gin and yuzu is a simple and delicious combination. Yuzu tastes like grapefruit and goes down easily. It’s incredibly refreshing and makes you feel healthier as you drink it. I only had one of these, but the flavours are pretty low-key so I wouldn’t imagine drinking more would be a challenge. I think Social’s policy is just to throw random ingredients together until they come up with something actually good. This time they got lucky.

Tasting notes: mandarin fingers, hope

Froth level: going to the beach when you should be at Uni

Pairs well with: ice, sand, comebacks

Taste rating: 8/10 highly drinkable

This article first appeared in Issue 3, 2021.
Posted 2:13pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Chug Norris.