Student Did Not Only Take TOUR214 for the Free Wine

Student Did Not Only Take TOUR214 for the Free Wine

Local student Danny DeVino is the first student in the history of the paper ‘Introduction To Wine Business,’ which includes wine tours and a wine-tasting exam, that isn’t taking the paper solely for the free wine. 

When asked for comment, lecturer Chardonnay McGoon was taken aback. “In my 30 years teaching this Summer School paper not once has a student actually cared about the dynamics of the wine industry and the tourism it enables...I certainly don’t.” 

While other students are chugging back Merlots and Pinot Noirs without a second thought as to the difference between them, Danny DeVino said he takes his time with the tongue-in-an-electrical-socket notes of the Sauvignon Blanc, and the fresh linen undertones of the Shiraz. Furthermore, he is fascinated by the export process, from vineyard to supermarket shelf. 

When interviewed, fellow student Sauternes Cabernet told the Critical Tribune that DeVino was “full of shit”. She stated that Daniel has no interest in entering the wine industry, and has actually been stealing bottles of wine for his flat from the lecturer. “DeVino was completely off his tits drunk in the final exam, he’s just better at hiding it then the rest of us.

This article first appeared in Issue 3, 2021.
Posted 2:03pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by The Critical Tribune.