Jan 20 - Feb 18
An R18 Mr Whippy van, but for cum. It’s so crazy that it just might work.
This week’s website: http://111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111.com/
Feb 19 - Mar 20
If you really want to pass HSFY, it’s time to get serious about your revision. Two words: DIY vasectomy, Science Library bathrooms.
This week’s website: https://www.odt.co.nz/news/dunedin/slid-cow-sh-truck-rolls-ditch-near-outram
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Si vis pacem, para bellum. Time to cancel someone.
This week’s website: http://www.republiquedesmangues.fr/
Apr 20 - May 20
Wander off by yourself into the mystical moist night-air and, from time to time, look up in perfect silence at the stars. Orion’s Belt is being unbuckled. You know what that means.
This week’s website: https://fivebooks.com/
May 21 - Jun 20
Everybody’s always talking about friendship requests. No one talks about the friendship quest.
This week’s website: Your mum’s Facebook
Jun 21 - July 22
You could try an ancient homeopathic remedy that I like to call shutting the fuck up.
This week’s website: https://cat-bounce.com/
July 23 - Aug 22
You will ask yourself this week why the Greeks are the only nation with a yoghurt named after them. Congratulations. A little piece of wool just got taken away from your eyes.
This week’s website: https://www.dunedin.govt.nz/council/electoral-information
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Your problem is that your body is a wonderland and you’re perfect. Deal with it.
This week’s website: https://www.jstor.org/
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Tip: before you open your mouth, ask yourself: is this the kind of thing that would get me featured on dunedinsoftbois?
This week’s website: https://feelingunlucky.today/
Oct 23 - Nov 21
It’s time to mix up your investment portfolio. Low-cost mutual funds and EFTs are so 2018. I’ll give you a hint: throat massages.
This week’s website: http://endless.horse/
Nov 22 - Dec 21
A man will ask you if you would rather be a fish for a day, or be taught how to be a fish for life. Follow your gut.
This week’s website: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_of_S%C3%B8ren_Kierkegaard#Despair
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Remember reading books? You should try that again some time.
This week’s website: https://www.otago.ac.nz/courses/subjects/arth.html