Pet News | Issue 12

Pet News | Issue 12


Introducing the highly anticipated and brand new news column, Pet News! 

As this is the very first entry into what I hope to be a long history of pet profiles, I will be acquainting you all with my lovely young fur-baby, Athena. 

Originally hailing from a farm located north of Christchurch in Loburn, this baby is definitely not an aloof farm cat. She is chatty, friendly, cuddly and in no way shy. She demands constant attention from both new-comers and her owners alike through incessant meowing, loud purring, and the classic stretch’n’smooch. She is technically an outdoor cat, but spends her nights inside sprinting up and down the hall chasing moths in a fashion that is much too loud for a creature that weighs only 2kgs. Moths are the only creatures she has managed to catch and kill. While she is allowed outside, the poor little thing is scared to leave the property. When the gate is open as human residents bring in groceries from the car, she pokes her head out, shakes excitedly, then sprints back to the house. 

Athena was named after both the greek goddess, and the video game character from the Borderlands franchise. This was a compromise on behalf of the father of the cat. When he was asked for an interview on the cat the only responses were the likes of “Laura, why are you doing this?” and “please no”. Not to worry, Athena still has a very attentive mother (obviously).

While there is no scientific evidence for this fact, I am sure that she has healing properties. One night while suffering through a migraine, Athena proceeded to climb on my head, massage it with her paws, curl up and fall asleep. I too, fell asleep like this, and awoke with pain no more. Magic. 

If you would like to see your friendly creature featured in Critic, email We will come to your house, pet your pet, take a photo, and write up a profile. C’mon, do it! The only payment I require for immortalising your little buddy is snuggles with the aforementioned animal.

This article first appeared in Issue 12, 2016.
Posted 11:48am Sunday 22nd May 2016 by Laura Starling.