This week, we have an image supplied by Arlo. We got last week’s submission bang on, Jeremy was on the corner of Trgovke and Sarači in Sarajevo.
First Thoughts: Right off the bat I’m going to guess somewhere near the UK. That’s a big area, and honestly, I’m exhausted, so I’m just going to throw a dart at the map and see where it lands. Hopefully it’s by the coast.
Okay so my dart landed in Africa. I’m going to remove the dart and go to the UK. Side note: I suck at darts. I do, however, see an English flag in the centre of the image, so I feel good about that. It’s hilly, and coastal, and looks like a big-ish bay, so I’m gonna guess south England, maybe near Southampton, based on this topo map of the island.
I also see that we seem to be standing in some sort of castle. Good thing there are only a handful of castles in England, right? There’s a wall in the distance that extends to the sea, implying that this is quite a big fortification. As long as we don’t end up in Africa I’ll be happy. I started in Southampton, but it was too flat, so I’ve moved to Plymouth. I’ve spotted a bastion similar to the one in the photo, it’s in Mt. Batten, next to West Hoe Park, which is where your mum hangs out. Let’s see if this is the one. Yeah, nah, no roundabout. Next! We’re looking for a coastal town with a castle, looking out to the coast, with a wall between us and the sea. We want at least two lines of boats on a marina, running orthogonal to the coast. And a roundabout.
Several hours later, I’ve scoured the entire south coast of England along the Channel, and then also the Bristol Channel. Nothing. So now we’re back to Southampton! I’ve ditched the other leads and am now looking only at the roundabouts in big-ish cities in the south of England. Southampton’s clearly have these sort of arrows pointing around the circle, so I’m gonna give it another go here and look for this bloody wall. Nope. We’re back, yet again, in Plymouth.
It was at this point that our original author gave up and resigned to the fate of taking a wild guess, fully ready to submit the first-ever incorrect Mr. Worldwide entry. However, literally minutes before the magazine was sent to print, an intrepid staff member decided to take on the challenge and found the correct answer. Fuck you, Arlo. They memorized the layout of the town, the shape of the castle, the position of the boats, and used the shape of the river channel to determine that this was in an estuary. They then cross-checked a list of walled towns in the UK (which our original author notes is cheating, btw) with Google Maps, and ended up – finally – in Conwy.
Final Answer: Arlo was standing on Conwy Castle, in Llandudno Junction, Wales. For the record, Arlo later clarified that “if you see an English flag, you’re not in England”, which makes no fucking sense at all, so thanks for that, Arlo. But we got you. Mr. Worldwide never loses.
Want to send in your own picture? Send an email to maps@critic.co.nz and we’ll give it a shot. Correct answers will be published next week.