Archive

The Castle Street Baby

Posted 11:33pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Tilly Rumball-Smith

CW: Violence  Critic Te Ārohi gave a (fake) baby to a five man Castle Street flat to take care of from Thursday to Sunday. There were only three rules:  Don’t lose the baby. You must bring the baby with you everywhere.  You must keep a diary of your adventures Read more...

The Great Cone Game

Posted 10:40pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Connor Moffat

You may have heard of the Chicken Chase, a daring drinking game involving a horde of bros and baes drinking their way along the rainbow (pubs) to find the pot of gold (a mate dressed as a chicken in an undisclosed pub, drinking their way through a collective tab). Critic Te Ārohi played our own Read more...

Tell Us How You Really Feel: 100 Years of Hate Mail

Posted 10:25pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Critic

Critic’s had haters in our inbox right from day dot. Within the first few issues in 1925 there were letters predicting Critic’s downfall. Now in our 100th year, let’s have a toast for the douchebags, assholes, scumbags and jerk-offs who’ve penned objectively hilarious and Read more...

Te Ārohi: A “Critic” in Name Only

Posted 10:05pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

This piece was pitched as ‘100 years of Critic’s Māori coverage’. That would’ve been disingenuous. It’s not a centenary for all of us, because for most of that time, we weren’t here.  One hundred years of Critic, and only twenty-nine of Te Ārohi. Read more...

40 Ways Critic is the Worst Student Magazine in the World

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Critic

40 Ways was Critic’s weekly listicle, popular in the early 2000s and maybe even the 1990s – the halcyon days when men were men, women were women, men were also women, women were also gender constructs, and introductory blurbs were worth reading. Critic is the school lunch programme Read more...

Opinion: Chlöe Swarbrick is still a politician

Posted 10:40pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Jordan Irvine

As a child, my parents were Labour voters and to me that seemed like the moral choice. John Key’s National government at the time did not have their best interests at heart as they prioritised wealth over wellbeing. New Zealand First, headed at the time by an old Winston Peters, appealed more Read more...

Which Academically Overwhelmed Rat Are You?

Posted 9:35pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

1. You've rolled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen. What are you having for the most important meal of the day? Porridge. It’s filling, homely, and makes you feel like one of the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory It's pretty much lunch time, so may as Read more...

Tall Etiquette: Reaching new heights in allyship at concerts

Posted 9:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Jonathan McCabe

If you’ve attended Electric Ave, Six60 or one of the first few Pint Nights, you would have noticed some pretty appalling crowd etiquette. You don’t need to part a friend group like the Red Sea to get to the front. In a mosh situation, tall people must act very carefully. Sometimes you Read more...

Lecture Theatre Bingo

Posted 9:25pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

Lectures can be fucking boring. This could be because you’re doing a degree you hate, your lecturer has the worst voice in the world or says “um” too much. Or it could just be a ceebs that day. Critic Te Ārohi has now invented a solution for when you have run out of Cool Maths Read more...

$40, 14 Arcade Games, Weeded-Up

Posted 5:46pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

Dolphins get high off pufferfish and wallabies ransack opium from the poppy fields. So what did we do? We tapped into our innate animalistic tendencies and got high to play arcade games. Sober or no, the arcade is an iconic spot.  For the purposes of this article and accurate retelling, Read more...