Archive

EDITORIAL: This was never a peaceful protest

Posted 1:06pm Sunday 6th March 2022 by Fox Meyer

Helluva week, huh? We’ve got a war, we’ve got a scary new climate report, and we’ve got the shitstorm that blew through parliament grounds on Wednesday. This whole issue of Critic has a bit of a calamitous fog hanging over it, which you can probably tell from the cover. I guess Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Not into that shit

Posted 4:19pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Critic

I believe I have had the shittiest attempt at a hookup ever.  To set the scene: I’d just freshly moved out of my mum’s house into my first flat. My flatmates are both out so I decide fuck it, time to hop on Grindr, what’s the worst that could happen? So I message this guy Read more...

Skuxx Deluxe | Green Mac and Cheese

Posted 4:12pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

Green Mac and Cheese This rendition of your classic mac ‘n cheese is perfect for post-O Week, when your hangover isn't budging but your body is begging for some nutrients. It's effectively like you’re 5-years-old again and your mum is disguising your vegetables under a pile of Read more...

Booze Reviews | Tui 7.2% Strong Lager

Posted 4:06pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Chug Norris

Tui has done it again. Earlier, with their standard lager, the brewery perfectly captured the taste of a minor fuck-up, a small leak in the life-boat, a failure to look both ways at a railway crossing, a sneaky look down the barrel of a firework to see why it isn’t working.  But now, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You’ve done a lot of personal growth over the summer, and renegotiated a lot of relationships. Remember to not beat yourself up about the past.  New Year's resolution: setting personal boundaries and not falling back into toxic Read more...

Emergency Summit Fails To Avert Fresher-Second Year War

Posted 3:09pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by The Critical Tribune

A fragile peace between first- and second-years has collapsed amidst accusations of aggression on both sides. Relations between the two groups frayed after mass movements of freshers were detected around the traditionally second-year strongholds of Castle Street and Forth Street. Concerns about Read more...

Shopping trolley stocks plummet as students hit north D

Posted 3:08pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Supermarkets across the city are reporting shortages of shopping trolleys, as students move into town and claim the sterling vessels as their own. “It’s madness”, said one New World employee. “Yesterday, I saw a woman back her RAV-4 all the way up to the building’s door Read more...

EDITORIAL: If we had student bars, I bet there’d be less news about party breaches

Posted 2:27pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Fox Meyer

There is no student bar this year. That’s a first for Dunedin, as far as I can tell.  See, student bars are like whales. In the mid 1800’s, Pākehā settlers set up shop on the peninsula and hunted migrant whales by the boatload until they learned to avoid Dunedin. By the Read more...

OPINION: It's Looking Pretty Grim for Dunedin Students

Posted 1:46pm Saturday 26th February 2022 by Elliot Weir

I hate to add more doom and gloom to your day, but at the moment, it’s looking pretty grim for Dunedin students. If you’re reading this then you’re probably one of those students, and I don’t need to tell you. You’ve got emails, tiktoks, and an itchy feeling in the back Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 3:47pm Sunday 10th October 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Fuck your exams. Send it away, have a drink or 26. Don’t listen to logic or reason. You’re a party rocker and you’re in the house tonight. Summer activity: going on a three month bender   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Have courage in what Read more...