Archive

The Tory Templar | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by The Tory Templar

The ACT Party may be tying its own noose but it will still be able to get its pet project passed into law. Charter schools are a pretty simple concept. They receive the same per-child government funding as state schools but have the freedom to set their own curriculum and qualifications, teacher Read more...

Red and Starry Eyed | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed

Despite the ACT Party receiving almost no support in the last elections, it got an MP and four portfolios paid for by a cup of tea. The famous tea tapes that Key didn’t want to talk about are now online under “Two Johns one cup”. Listen to them; the two politicians show utter contempt for their own Read more...

Editorial | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Joe Stockman

As you may have been able to tell from the cover, we’re having a look at drugs this week. Just as I am not allowed to print anything in Critic about people peeing on each other for sexual pleasure, I’m also not allowed to say anything that might incite or promote drug taking. So I won’t. But I can Read more...

Te Roopu Māori | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

Kia Ora whānau, It’s that time of the year already … Graduations, for a few of us older tauira it is the chance to catch up with old friends who are in the workforce and to reminisce about the good times and memories we all shared. For others, this will be your first time to experience Read more...

Uncle Howie | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Uncle Howie

Dear Uncle Howie, I can’t believe I’m writing in, but I need your advice/knowledge/wisdom and after reading your column I think you’re the go-to person on such a topic. I recent acquired a Fuck Buddy who is dynamite in the sack but my complete opposite and he enjoys talking for at Read more...

Objection Overruled | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by

Drink driving. As with drugs and casual sex, many students have dabbled. Whether it is a morning-after stint or a blatant act of driving obliterated, drink driving is rife in New Zealand. This is particularly so in the Southern Region, where 16-24 year olds are over-represented compared with the Read more...

Classic Film | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

Director: Richard Linklater Richard Linklater’s Slacker is considered one of the defining points of 20th century American independent cinema. It signalled the dawn of a new era for independent directors, proving that one does not need expensive equipment or “stars” to successfully create a Read more...

Swillable | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Mr Squid

Müller-Thurgau Alcohol Content: 8% Price: $10 As any decent wine critic knows, the difference between a good wine and a bad wine is the quality of the grape. This week’s review covers a vino about as appealing as a lamb shank from the 2-4. It tastes like a yucky chardonnay. Read more...

Proctology | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Staff Reporter

It was belting down with rain when Critic went along to the Proctor’s office last Tuesday; we must have been the only people to ever want to stay in his office longer than absolutely necessary. Campus Watch have been on the lookout for a persistent peeping tom (what is it about guys named Read more...

No Fringe, No Indie | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Sasha Borissenko

This week’s style commentary will feature the satire created by political commentator Chris Trotter but with an Otago University twist. Without further ado, introducing the “Waitakere Jock”: The Waitakere jock tends to enjoy the odd pint while watching a good game of rugby with the lads. Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by La Dida

This week’s column is about Intersexions, a documentary that premiered in Auckland last week. The film is a collaboration between my dear friend Mani Mitchell and Mark Lahood. It shares the stories of a number of intersex folks across the world, interwoven with Mani’s story. Mani is a part of a Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by John Brinsley-Pirie

I don’t think everyone who opposes Crafar Farms is a racist. I do think they are wrong. I will be making a case for why we should allow sales of land to foreign owners and why that benefits us as a country. Turning first to an important principle, the right to own land itself. In NZ we think Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Lovebirds

Dunedin is renowned for many things, but its dating scene is not one of them. Getting boozed and pashing people on the dance floor is hardly anyone’s idea of romance, so Critic wants to sort you out. Every week we’re sending two loveless loners on a blind date to Tokyo Gardens (with a bottle of wine Read more...

The Tory Templar | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by The Tory Templar

The left has been crying foul over asset sales virtually from the moment the first syllable left John Key’s lips. Let’s clarify a few points from the beginning; a lot of people seem to not know much about this issue, yet are still up in arms. The government is looking to sell off up to, and no more Read more...

Red and Starry Eyed | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed

Have you noticed John Key looking more tired by the minute? How about the recent National scandals: From ACC to paid parental leave? About time, though his party hasn’t dropped in recent polls. It is about time to brush the dust off the covers of one of the first scandals in this government’s second Read more...

Execrable

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

This is the first time I’ve been to an Executive meeting. I had no idea what was going to happen. They gave me an agenda. Stockman told me they tend to drag on a bit … First item was a report on Unigames. Turns out there wasn’t enough funding. Some athletes withdrew at the last minute and it Read more...

Editorial | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Joe Stockman

Ol’ Uncle John and his bestie Steven Joyce have been making some changes to the student loan and student allowance system. The stupidest change they’ve come up with is to limit the student allowance to four years of study. Sure, some students who are onto their fifth year are fucking around, Read more...

Every day I’m chapil’n | Issue 9

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Amy Armstrong

“Our piece of peace” My thoughts have been around peace this past week as we commemorate Anzac Day. In this time when we pause to remember all those who have sacrificed their lives and gone off to distant shores in the service of others, it is hard to think of a more selfless act. While war Read more...

How To: Get Yourself Off

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Staff Reporter

You don’t have to have a partner in order to get off: Hours of pleasure are available at the end of your fingertips … literally. The desperate hours spent trawling the d-floor at Metro or Monkey can all be avoided if you simply take things in hand, and claim responsibility for your own good times. Read more...

LILF | Issue 9

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Staff Reporter

“What’s in a name? That which we call ‘Dr Jonathan Marshall’ by any other name would smell as sweet.” Dr Marshall’s hunky, hunky man smell was as sweet as a clear day after rain. The heat from the limelight was never so strong as it was in a Dr Marshall class. Supporting the arts had never Read more...