Booze review: RUM(S)

Posted 10:00pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Rum is the blindfold that humanity gladly adorns when things get messy.  A tipple of rum to the war-torn soldier leavens the load of indefinite suffering, and the base aromat of orange and vanilla is as familiar to fruit the sailor will get. The legacy of rum is often a swansong to the Read more...

Booze Review: Your Uncle's Homebrew

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

New Zealand’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol is built on the solid foundations of your uncle’s homebrew.    Whether the uncle in question is yours or a mate’s, the product is the same. You’ve likely had a shot of their 80% alc/vol moonshine which was Read more...

Booze Review: Fizzliss Old Fashioned Lemonade + Vodka

Posted 5:18pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Built into the human genome is a predisposition toward enjoying bubbles. All things bubbly. Bubbles in my bath, bubbles that meander through the air, Bubbles shooting up heroin in the streets of West Baltimore. A momentary existence punctuated with a satisfying *pop*; there is no situation that does Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Death

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

All the appeal of cough syrup, without the fun effects. Purple Death is like a Fast & Furious marathon: you’re excited to revel in something objectively terrible with your friends, and it is fun initially, but after three hours of staring at Vin Diesel's fat head you begin to wonder Read more...

Booze Review: Ginger Bear

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

With a name like Ginger Bear, it would be too easy to make a joke about being fucked in my ass by a 300+ pound, ginger-haired, Todd-from-Breaking-Bad-looking guy. So I won’t. Crimson Badger Brewing’s Ginger Bear is the perfect reintroduction to a medium of drinks that have otherwise Read more...

Booze Review: Soju

Posted 2:32pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Soju sounds like a slur Walt Disney would use. It’s not, though. It’s booze. It seems that these days I have exhausted my excitement for alcohol. Bored of beer, sick of RTD’s, and left with broken spirit(s). The novelty is gone and I wonder what is the point of destroying my Read more...

Booze Review: The Ned Pinot Gris

Posted 11:28am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Most Dunedinites won’t drink a bottle of wine until they’re face-to-face with a butter chicken curry. After all, nothing pairs better with naan than a $7.50 bottle of Cleanskin Sauvignon Blanc - the curry equivalent of a Happy Meal, served alongside what is basically the piss of a French Read more...

Booze review: Haägen Strøng

Posted 3:25pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

  Initially launched as a wartime ration distributed to the ANZACs, Haägen Strong has found its way to being a staple across the diets of many New Zealanders. Trying to find a can of this stuff while it’s on special at the supermarket is difficult, as its primary consumers are Read more...

Booze review: Byron Bay Brewery Piña Colada Sparkling Cocktail

Posted 3:56pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

RTDs are like your friend's untrained dog: fun to play with at first, but with the potential to leave a child face down on the asphalt. Being little more than over-championed sugar water, RTDs have incurred a tenfold amount of bad karma than they have good. On the cosmic scales of justice, Read more...

Booze Review | Scapegrace Pomegranate & Doris Plum is a Pretentious Money-Grab

Posted 3:09pm Monday 15th August 2022 by Chug Norris

There is only one way a person could come to buy Scapegrace’s Pomegranate and Doris Plum RTDs: fresh from an exhausting day of abusing retail workers and making disapproving noises about the homeless, your average Scapegrace consumer is in much need of refreshment. Getting home and realising Read more...