Horoscope

Posted 5:03pm Sunday 16th May 2021

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Learn to stand up for yourself, doormat. Good deed for the week: Picking up rubbish    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 In the coming week you’re going to catch feelings. Stop before you start.  Good deed for the week: Doing your Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Like a Chainsaw

Posted 4:21pm Sunday 9th May 2021

I had a lot of questions when I first came into the possession of some anal beads, courtesy of Critic for some prior raunchy content. I had delved into a bit of butt stuff before but nothing much more than a thumb up the bum or a weak and dissatisfying attempt at anal. This gift had my senses piqued Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 4:11pm Sunday 9th May 2021

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin.  Coping mechanism: Therapy  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here.  Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming   Aries Mar 21 - Apr Read more...

University Conspiracy Theories: Fact or Fiction?

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 9th May 2021

1.Bill and Bill are holograms  2.There is a specialist Ghostbusters division of Campus Watch, which is why there have been no ghosts on campus since 2007 3.Archway looks fucked because it’s a UFO that crashed into campus, and the government covered it up by inventing brutalist Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | The Wrong Kind of Bang

Posted 8:29pm Sunday 2nd May 2021

This boy was very cute. French, got the curls, six foot tall, eight inches, the whole package. We were a few dates in by this point, feeling each other out but not quite feeling each other up yet. This bitch was getting horny. One Friday night we decided to get dressed up and go to town. We chatted, Read more...

Dear Critic...

Posted 8:27pm Sunday 2nd May 2021

Dear Critic, I just hope he reads this. To the boy I slept with at Hyde: I have Chlamydia. I’m sorry. You had brown hair, a fade, and were wearing a vest and button-up combo as part of your Peaky Blinders fit. You were drinking Major Major. I think your name was James? I’m not sure. Read more...

Rate or Hate

Posted 8:25pm Sunday 2nd May 2021

I am literally just saying songs I rate and hate and why. I am not capable of complex thought at this time x   Rate Cellophane by FKA Twigs. I really rate that song and its massive sad indie girl vibes. Slumber Party by Ashnikko ft. Princess Nokia. My flatmate and I learned the Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 7:55pm Sunday 2nd May 2021

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 People might not always be there for you, but gear will be.  Dunedin band to listen to: Straightjacket Fits Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Time to put your head into your books instead of giving it.  Dunedin band to listen to: Juno Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Yanking My Christmas Cracker

Posted 9:58pm Monday 26th April 2021

It's December, 2020, and I'm finally back home for Christmas break. With everyone stuck in one small house again (parents, siblings, pets, neighbours coming round), it gets pretty suffocating and sexually frustrating pretty quick. Lucky for me, I have a lad on call with a car. So, Read more...

Dear Critic...

Posted 9:55pm Monday 26th April 2021

Dear Critic, Last week I wrote in about a wasp’s nest and you suggested that you could soak it in petrol to get them to move out. Well, the tradies next door got the petrol out of the lawn mower and soaked it, but they ignited it, so now there's a smoldering wasp nest and a swarm of Read more...