Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

Learn to stand up for yourself, doormat.

Good deed for the week: Picking up rubbish 

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

In the coming week you’re going to catch feelings. Stop before you start. 

Good deed for the week: Doing your dishes 

 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

They’re not busy, they just don’t want to see you. Stop chasing flakey people. 

Good deed for the week: Donating to charity 

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

If you stop judging people you might make some friends. 

Good deed for the week: Attempting to spread kindness 

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

Stay fun, stay flirty!

Good deed for the week: Giving some head 

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

Instead of whining, trying wine-ing. 

Good deed for the week: Being the sober driver

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

Stop starting rumours and creating shit storms. No one needs that. 

Good deed for the week: The only deed you’ll do is something dirty 

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Sit the back, relax, and have some ice cream. 

Good deed for the week: Learning how to share 

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

Stop being so oblivious to everything. 

Good deed for the week: Apologizing for your mistakes 

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

A dart a day keeps the pain away. 

Good deed for the week: Dog walking 

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Learn some time management skills, you fucking need them. 

Good deed for the week: Making a to-do list  

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

It’s okay to laugh sometimes. Life can have joy. 

Good deed for the week: Smiling at strangers