Welcome to the gun show

Posted 9:43pm Sunday 3rd August 2014 by Loulou Callister-Baker

Standing in the kitchen of my flat, I turn to my flatmates and ask them how many firearms there are in New Zealand. One replies, “80,000.” Another - deciding to push his guess - replies, “about 100,000.” When I tell them that there are, in fact, approximately 1.1 million firearms in New Zealand they Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 18

Posted 9:43pm Sunday 3rd August 2014 by Kristen Stewart

This article begs the question: WHY, ODT, WHY!? Taking pointless and ridiculous reporting to a new level, the article describes how an intoxicated Irish woman broke into an apartment, where she then locked herself in a cupboard and proceeded to urinate throughout. Adding insult to Read more...

Bouncing off the halls | Issue 18

Posted 9:43pm Sunday 3rd August 2014 by Staff Reporter

It’s been a while, but Critic has decided to return with a full lowdown of shenanigans going on at your favourite Halls of Residence. To kick off, a Senior Resident at Selwyn has lost his job after beginning relations with a fresher. The 24-year-old was given an ultimatum to either break off Read more...

Guest Editorial | Issue 18

Posted 9:43pm Sunday 3rd August 2014 by The Rt. Hon. General Gold Bastard

For those who don’t know me, allow me to introduce myself: I am the Rt. Hon. Gold Bastard, supreme leader of Critic’s four editorial goldfish. My days start unpredictably. I drive my harem to go nuts when the first of our giant pet nematodes walks in, but they’re good at ignoring us despite Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 17

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 27th July 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Profile: New Zealand Child Poverty 101

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 27th July 2014 by Stacey Kennedy of Choose Kids

“Child poverty;” “vulnerability;” “income gap.” Buzz words, right? Phrases thrown around by the radical lefties? There are 285,000 children living in poverty in New Zealand, yet so many of us New Zealanders seem content to ignore the problem, or worse, to deny it altogether. Unfortunately “us Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 17

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 27th July 2014 by Elisabeth Larsen

“BUT I BUY FREE-RANGE! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU DIRTY STINKING HIPPY!” At some point in the near future, you may well find yourself saying this to some random in New World. He may or may not be wearing hemp pants. With the chia seeds and quinoa in his basket, he peers dubiously at the “free-range” Read more...

Too much screens | Issue 17

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 27th July 2014 by Sam Fleury

Hijinks ensue when six friends try to navigate the complicated world of relationships ... Happy Endings’ premise is not unique, but its execution is. Beginning with the breaking up of Alex and Dave’s wedding, Happy Endings follows them and their group of friends as they try to figure what comes next Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 17

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 27th July 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

From the honeybee waggle-dance, to the moonwalking red-capped manikin, to your dad’s awkward shuffle, everyone loves a boogie now and again. It’s hard to resist tapping your feet when a groovy tune comes on, but what is it about certain songs that make them so danceable? Imagine, for a Read more...

Modern art - A modern weapon

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 27th July 2014 by Josie Adams

Russia and America. The U.S.A. and the U.S.S.R. They played on the same team during World War Two, but only because the captain of the opposition was the more immediate asshole. In the reconstructive, politically tumultuous post-war years, their distaste for each other solidified; the Cold War had Read more...