The Uni has made big changes to enhance ID card security in 2022, bringing in a new, “minimalist,” overwhelmingly white design. Our informal survey suggested almost everyone hates it - with the notable exception of first-years, who don’t know any better.
After the Proctor raised concerns about the old cards being “a security risk and obsolete,” a new Gallagher door-locking system and new ID cards (produced by Uniprint) were introduced this year. While most of the upgrades were behind the scenes, with security features too sophisticated for us artsy folk to comprehend, what we did notice was a new design: overwhelmingly white, with no picture and with a single stripe marking their only attempt at graphic design. One student described the colour as “piss-yellow”. A University spokesperson said the cards were also designed by Marketing Services, explaining that the new “clean design is consistent with University branding”.
For those familiar with the glory days of penguins, shiny gold logos and gradients galore, the new ID cards just didn’t seem to be it. Critic headed to the ID Card Office, stole some stools and set up shop to survey whether students shared our sorrow.
Of the 16 freshers we surveyed, 10 of them liked it (62.5%), 4 didn’t (25%) and 2 decided they really had better things to worry about (like how to break Covid-19 rules at the cemetery, perhaps). But for second-years and above, opinion swung heavily in the other direction, with 8 out of the 9 we surveyed (82.5%) a firm “nah” on the yeah-to-nah scale. The single staff member we could get our hands on said the design was “pretty shit,” asking forlornly: “what happened?” If only we knew.
Analysis of the survey results by our very real team of crack philosophers quickly revealed one thing: freshers were experiencing Plato’s cave, in real time. Having never been exposed to anything else, “clean” and “minimalist” was their ideal, the standard by which all other ID cards would be measured. But once you know what life is like outside, filled with colour, iconic landmarks and dancing holograms, you can’t go back. For our poor freshers, like literally everything they’ve had to deal with so far, it really can only go up from here.