OUSA Endorse Mysterious “Charter” That You Are Not Allowed to Know About

Don’t worry, it’s probably nothing and won’t prove to be incredibly significant later down the track

The OUSA Exec has endorsed a “Charter”, the name and contents of which are confidential and will remain so until further notice.

Wikipedia defines ‘Charter’ to mean the "grant of authority or rights, stating that the granter formally recognises the prerogative of the recipient to exercise the rights specified.”

This definition is excellent because it sounds terrifying, and students should be terrified that their elected representatives are endorsing secret agreements that may or may not affect the daily lives of students. Although to be fair, Critic is pretty sure that nothing the Exec does will ever affect the daily lives of students.

OUSA President Jack Manning would not answer Critic’s questions about who created the “Charter”, when it would be publically available to students, or even why it was confidential in the first place.

Here are some charters that exist and the likelihood of them being relevant to the confidential charter:

  • Anglo-Saxon charter. Very Unlikely. We can rule this one out because it comes from the early medieval period in Britain.
  • Charter colony. Likely. This refers to a type of small British colony that is charted to an individual or company. Suspiciously, Jack would not rule out that OUSA may separate from New Zealand and become its own republic.
  • Chivalric charter. Unlikely. The holy vows of medieval knights are tragically neglected in this den of sin and vice.
  • Congressional charter. Very Unlikely. Some U.S. law thing that was issued to groups until 1992. We’re pretty sure 1992 was a while ago.
  • Municipal charter. Vey Likely. Much like a charter colony, but not at all. This is the legal term for a local governing body, like a city or a town. Arguably much more likely than OUSA being able to become an independent country.
  • Charter boat. Unlikely. Water is scary and has sharks in it.
  • Charter (chart maker). Likely. “These charts are trash! Remove them from my sight and send for the best charter in the land!” OUSA Finance Officer Josh Meikle absolutely did not scream at a serf, knocking the delicate golden tray of sweetmeats out of his hand as he did so.  
  • University of Otago Student Charter. Very Unlikely. Doesn’t seem relevant.
This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2020.
Posted 6:46pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Sinead Gill.