Moaningful Confessions | The Nutcracker

Moaningful Confessions | The Nutcracker

So, it was the week I lost my virginity. 

Myself and my "special friend" at the time were engaging in rampant intercourse, learning the ropes, in more ways than one. Anyhow, during one of these sessions she is riding me particularly hard and a loud "crack" resonates throughout my body. The sound is coming from my dick.

Now, my mother didn't raise a bitch so I kept going. Everything seems fine for a day, until (this is a lot of TMI, sorry guys and gals) pus starts coming out of places where it shouldn’t.

I am at home, a teenager, and not ready to book my own appointments, whether that’s doctors, dentists or hairdressers. I have to tell someone. I tell my step mum (no this story is not going in that direction) and she laughs at me very hard.

I feel regret and shame and we go to the doctors. I've never met this fucking doctor before but I told him that that me and my “friend” were both virgins before this week so it won't be an STD. He doesn't give a fuck, doesn’t listen, and gives me chlamydia pills.

I go with my real mum to go get these pills. I don't tell her what they're for. Everything seems fine for another day or two, except for the pus, which continues. 

Then I wake up one morning and I am in so much pain that I'm convinced I'm dying. I start vomiting, so my real mother and I take a nice family trip to the hospital. A nurse takes care of me and she asks if I'm taking any pills and what for, so I have to tell her in front of my mother the whole deal. It was incredibly uncomfortable.

So I'm there, in hospital, an IV drip in my arm, my mum and dad looking down at me (or down on me), all because I have a fucking stomach infection from a UTI that got misdiagnosed as chlamydia when I was a fucking virg. I am convinced that the loud crack from my "disco stick" helped in getting a gross and pus-y (not pussy) infection. I don't think it has ever bent fully back into shape after that.

In summary, I think I broke my dick and disappointed my parents.

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2021.
Posted 6:18pm Sunday 28th March 2021 by Critic.