Jan 20 - Feb 18

Every day that passes is another day that you don't have a mullet. Just get one already. 

This week’s beauty hack: Extra hard gel 



Feb 19 - Mar 20

This season is turbulent for everyone else except you. Keep thriving while you watch everyone else suffer, yolo. 

This week’s beauty hack: Moisturise between your toes



Mar 21 - Apr 19

As Summer winds down you find yourself feeling down. Don’t be lol. Jk, stay in bed for a while and binge watch your favourite show. Sometimes you just need to recover without beating yourself up about it x

This week’s beauty hack: Grow your eyebrows out



Apr 20 - May 20

Your organisational skills are at an all-time high as you take over everyone else's lives with your unexpected intensity. 

This week’s beauty hack: Cut your toenails damn



May 21 - Jun 20

You will find yourself craving a 10 pack of nuggets with sweet and sour sauce. Give into your cravings. Also give in to the overwhelming need to study as you are somehow already four weeks behind.

This week’s beauty hack: Brush your hair at least



Jun 21 - July 22

The emotions will be all too much this week. Yes, you will rewatch Monsters Inc. Yes, you will cry when they put Boo back. Such is life. 

This week’s beauty hack: Shave your head



July - Aug 22

I know you broke your friend’s flat window and haven’t helped them organise to fix it yet. Flaky. 

This week’s beauty hack: One earring



Aug 23 - Sep 22

Your socks haven’t been washed in a while and it is genuinely concerning. 

This week’s beauty hack: Getting to know some laundry powder 



Sep 23 - Oct 22

Stop!!!! Being!!! Overbearing!!! And!!! Start!!! Being!!! Better!!!

This week’s beauty hack: Self-tanning foam because you’re already getting pale



Oct 23 - Nov 21

You wanna fight this week more than usual. It must be Mercury. It’s always Mercury.

This week’s beauty hack: Side part and a balled fist



Nov 22 - Dec 21

Your work ethic is paying off and so are your squats. Haha, just kidding, the last part is an obvious lie. 

This week’s beauty hack: Mascara top AND bottom, so everyone can tell you’ve been crying



Dec 22 - Jan 19

Your pessimistic nature is extra strong this week, but do not fear. Even though it might feel like a messy week, your friends or family will be extra supportive. Soak up their love. 

This week’s beauty hack: Love yourself x

This article first appeared in Issue 3, 2021.
Posted 1:55pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Critic.