Critic Booze Reviews | Hardy's

Critic Booze Reviews | Hardy's

Hardy’s is my darling. My sweet saucy McMuffin. What’s so great about it? Let’s slip into something more comfortable and find out.

It’s the end of the year and by now you should be well aware of how shit the BYO regulations in Dunedin are. Seriously, every other city has one bottle per person, but not Dunedin. We are assigned a mere one bottle between two, all because some people in the ‘90s dared to burn a couch to keep themselves warm. What these regulations mean is that every bright-eyed student is condemned, no, damned to a horrid 3.5 standards alongside their curry of choice. This will not do, my loves.

Hardy’s is a game changer. It’s a one-litre bottle compared to the usual 750ml that Centre City New World will gag you with. It only looks a touch bigger, so no one’s going to pull you up on it, but it is 9.9 STANDARDS. Let’s round that up to 10 because even numbers are pretty and sparkly. But seriously, WHAT THE FUCK. No longer are you condemned to the perils of sobriety in the dim lights of your local Indian. Daddy’s home.

Even outside of a BYO context, Hardy’s is the best shag. Let’s say you’re going to a party and you’re looking to get drunk. A single bottle of wine, while not a bad time, often brings you just under the mark. Maybe you had to donate a bit to king’s cup, maybe you ate a big dinner. Whatever the reason, sometimes 7 standards just is not going to be enough for me to tolerate listening to Mr Brightside for the 186th time this month. With 10 standards though, all these worries blissfully melt away. New World often has this sucker on special for $10, which means, you guessed it, Hardy’s meets the sacred Golden Ratio of $1/1 standard.

Overall friends, if I had to pick an alcohol to be buried with, Hardys would be it. It’s The One. It’s the goddamn love of my life. So please, take this little nugget of wisdom with you on your summer adventures, consider it my parting gift. Au revoir, mon petit croissants.


Taste Rating: 100/10

Froth Level: Kissing your crush for the first time.

Pairs well with: A lamb vindaloo, the lads, and a few cheeky garlic naans

Tasting notes: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:·゚✧

This article first appeared in Issue 26, 2019.
Posted 8:47pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Sinkpiss Plath.