Booze Review Writer goes Straight Edge, Reviews Smug Sense of Superiority Each Week

Booze Review Writer goes Straight Edge, Reviews Smug Sense of Superiority Each Week

Swilliam Shakesbeer, Critic’s resident booze reviewer, has recently announced that they have completely cut out all drugs and alcohol. “I just feel so much healthier, you know,” Swilliam wrote in their latest column.

When Critic Editor Charlie O’Mannin approached Swilliam about the lack of alcohol content, Swilliam simply replied, “Wow, it’s just all the toxins in your body making you so negative. You should try going sober.”

This article first appeared in Issue 24, 2019.
Posted 11:06am Friday 20th September 2019 by The Critical Tribune.