An unnamed local Dunedin man, 35, who spent the last month watching all 720 episodes of the anime Naruto, has reportedly defeated eight men, three women and two stray dogs in hand-to-hand combat around the city centre in the last four days. He owes his success to what he described to the Tribune as his “vicarious training.”
“You know, like, visualization?” the man said. “I see the fist, I am the fist. People can float, right? Like Buddhist monks and shit. Take that to heart, the world is yours.” At press time, the 35-year-old was seen bowing and slowly walking backwards into a shadow behind some alleyway rubbish bins.