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A Fat Cat.

Scarfies are dead. Among the (many) accused: the Fat Cat. So, I present the opportunity to transform yourself into this social stereotype. This week, Matthew, I’m going to be a Fat Cat! 
The Fat Cat is a simple transformation. All you need to focus on are two things: appearance and attitude. Don’t worry about having knowledge of political systems. If that was a requirement, then half the MPs in Parliament wouldn’t be where they are.
For a Fat Cat, attitude is everything. If you want to stay a Fat Cat and not become a whining pussy, you need to have the right attitude. For starters, always remember to shit on the little guy. People won’t respect you unless you constantly remind them of your superiority. The general public are nothing more than sheep, only useful for their part in helping you gain power.
Make sure you utilise their taxpayer funds as much as possible. The taxpayer isn’t able to spend that money, so they like to see that at least someone is enjoying it. Take a holiday on them; chuck it on the credit card. People love to see a Fat Cat enjoying their job. On that note, make sure to create lots of ridiculous bills and laws, as it shows you have a sense of humour and makes people more likely to re-elect you. Take the Anti-Smacking Bill or Emissions Trading Scheme for instance.
Fat Cats are in the public eye a great deal. As such, it is vital that you employ the same techniques that they do to make yourself seem like such a dignified member of society. Go out and buy a bunch of expensive suits (preferably on the taxpayer credit card) and then mismatch all the patterns when you wear them. This shows the public that you are doing well enough that you can afford great clothes, but also that you’re busy enough that you don’t have the time to dress properly. If you have the time, make sure to eat as much as possible. Put the ‘fat’ in Fat Cat. Girth garners respect in Parliament, and women will be attracted to you for your implied wealth and status. If you don’t believe this, look at Gerry Brownlee. The man is a God in an Armani suit.
Follow this guide and you’ll be overusing credit cards and alienating the public in no time. Remember, being a Fat Cat in Government is a lot like being a Scarfie; it’s all about the parties