Columns

I once did some volunteer work for a guy who was a thalidomide victim. In a departure from my usual linguistic prowess, I came home from my first day and announced with appropriate gravitas, “He was a formaldehyde baby, you know.”

Whilst I still struggle to pronounce the name of the infamous drug that caused thousands of birth defects in the 1950s and 60s, I was recently reminded of it after reading that the German drug company Grüenthal, who manufactured thalidomide, has officially apologised to the now-adult victims of yester-century, 50 years after the drug was taken off the market. In comparison, it was 25 years after the Holocaust that West German Chancellor Willy Brandt fell to his knees in remorse at the Warsaw memorial.

Invented (somewhat ironically) by a former Nazi party member and hailed as a “wonder drug”, thalidomide was given to pregnant women to treat morning sickness. Many of their babies were born with phocomelia, which is characterised by shortened or missing limbs as well as ear, eye, heart, lung, gastrointestinal, and genitourinary deformities.

The guy I worked for wore enormous shoes like those worn by Bart Simpson in the episode where he is too short to audition for the role of Fallout Boy. Most of his fingers were also missing, making the requisite handshake a rather humbling experience.

In total there were more than 10,000 cases of “thalidomide syndrome” reported across 46 countries, including New Zealand but excluding the United States, by the early 1960s. Thalidomide was withdrawn in 1961, but research is ongoing regarding its ability to treat leprosy, AIDS, and cancer.

The apology was too little too late for the victims who have long called for acknowledgement and compensation. By way of explanation as to why it took so long, Grüenthal said, “We ask that you regard our long silence as a sign of the shock that your fate caused in us.”

It seems odd that there were no offers of compensation. An apology seems like the absolute barest of minimums. Drug companies make a lot of money, and thalidomide syndrome is an expensive condition: cars and homes must be adapted, and musicals must be written and performed – you do the math.

Hang on, musicals? Yes, in a courageous expression of reckless creativity, in 2005 Mat Fraser wrote and starred in the semi-autobiographical “Thalidomide! A Musical”, which features numbers such as “Monster Babies”, “I’ll Be His Arms”, “Talk to the Flipper (‘Cause the Face Don’t Care)”, and my personal favorite “It’s Hard To Hitch Down Life’s Highway With No Thumbs”.

I suppose there’s a reason for the saying “laughter is the best medicine” – overdue apologies sure don’t cut it.