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They said independence and flatting would be fun. What a load of hogwash. Before long, you've mastered the art of quick gruel for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Your parents are concerned: “you only eat what?” You explain that sometimes you simply need to shove something in your gob before rushing off to your class or getting back to that assignment. 

But deep, deep, deep — no, keep going — DEEP down, you want to change.

So Critic Te Arohi has pulled together a few cheap-ish, easy-ish meals for when you’re bored of your usual rotation and can't face another bowl of pasta or rice. This is not haute cuisine. It is simply a few ways to feed yourself without losing the will to live.

Revolt against the system, students. Radicalise your dinner!

Fish Cake

A good way to turn potatoes and one lonely fish into something that vaguely resembles a proper meal.

Ingredients

• 4 Potatoes
• 1 tbsp butter or margarine
• A small splash of milk
• 250g smoked fish of your choice (Harbour Fish is a great place to source this from)
• 1 tsp olive oil/cooking oil
• Salt and pepper

Instructions
Peel and chop the potatoes, then boil until they’re soft and ready to accept their fate. Drain and mash with the butter, a splash of milk, salt and pepper. You want the mixture firm enough to hold its shape, so don’t go wild with the milk – though in this economy that would be fucking stupid.

Break the fish up into flakes, and stir it through. No smoked fish? The tinned stuff works great too – just try to drain as much liquid as you can before combining with the potato. 

Get them hands wet, and mould the mixture into about 4-6 patties depending on if you want them on the snack-size side or the meal-size side. You'll need to press hard, like really hard, otherwise they may disintegrate once you start frying them.

Speaking of getting fried – heat the oil in a frying pan on medium, then cook for around 3-4 minutes on each side until golden and crispy. You can also air fry them at 190°C for around 10-12 minutes, flipping halfway.

Serve with baked beans, salad, frozen vege, or whatever sauce you can procure from the depths of your fridge. E voilà, as the French say in France.

Wraps 'n Tacos

EXCELLENT for leftovers.

Ingredients

• 4 wraps or soft-shell tacos, IDGAF.
• 1 carrots grated
• A handful of lettuce or bagged salad (non-slimy is preferable but dealer’s choice)
• ½ cup grated cheese
• 1 tin of chickpeas, drained, or whatever leftover meat/protein you have
• Mayonnaise or some other funky sauce
• Optional: leftover roast vege, capsicum, corn, avocado – if you have a full time job.

Instructions
I shan't condescend to you with a 14-step method. Wraps 'n Tacos are basically an excuse to clear the fridge.

Heat the wrap. Spread your sauce to ensure some goodness in each bite, add protein, vege and cheese. Fold. Eat

If you’re using chickpeas and wanna feel fancy, chuck them in a hot pan with a little oil, salt and whatever spices you own for five-ish minutes. Suddenly the meal is intentional.

Soft-shell tacos can also be crisped in the air fryer for a few minutes if you fancy a bit of crunch. Bob's your Uncle, and Fanny's your Aunt. 

Jacket Potato

Good for breakfast, lunch, dinner, second dinner – idfk, anything!

Ingredients 

• As many potatoes as you want to eat
• Butter
• Salt and pepper

For the tuna filling

• 1 small tin of tuna, preferably flavourless (well it will still taste like tuna but you know).
• ¼ cup of corn kernels, canned or bagged, frozen or fresh, corn is corn.
• 1 tbsp mayonnaise (Kewpie is best!)
• Or just use whatever you have nearing expiration: baked beans and cheese, leftover chilli, cottage cheese, etc.

Instructions
Prick (heh) the potatoes a few times with a fork, or else it'll go boom. Airfry at 180°C for about 45-55 minutes depending on if its from Kmart or Briscoes, or bake at 200°C for about an hour. Pretty much just go ‘til the outside is crisp and you can stick a butter knife in it with little resistance.

Take your spud-tastic surprise out, and cut an "X-Marks the spot" shape into the top. Top tip: try not to go right through to the plate so that your potato vessel will be able to hold in all the juicy goodness from your toppings. Then, it goes a dollop of butter and a crack of S&P, give the insides a bit of a much together and your base potato is ready!

For the far superior tuna option, mix the tuna, corn and mayo together and pile it on top. Otherwise, shove in whatever your heart desires – there's no exact science.

One warning: buying a super-large “economical” sack of potatoes is only economical if you actually eat them within a week or so. Your flatmates won't be impressed opening the cupboard to find a small potato sprout forest. Trust me.

Lentil Dahl & Naan

For you’re after something that tastes like considerably more effort than it actually took.

Dahl

Ingredients 

• 1 cup dried red lentils, rinsed (I get mine from Indian Food Mart on Saint Andrews Street)
• 1 tin of diced tomatoes (or tomato soup)
• 1 onion chopped – like me after walking from my flat to campus in the rain.
• 1 tin coconut milk
• 1½ cups vegetable or chicken stock
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tsp garam masala
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• Salt to taste

Optional but recommended

• 2 cloves garlic, minced.
• 1 tsp grated ginger (from a jar is fine)
• Chilli flakes

Instructions
Heat the oil in a pot and cook the onion until it's a bit soft, let's say around 5 minutes.

Add the garlic, ginger, and chilli if you’re hot like that, along with the garam masala and cumin. Cook for another minute so your onions can sweat with the spices – apparently that makes them taste good, and after all we want only the best and finest cuisine for the noble readers of Critic Te Ārohi.

Add the lentils, tomatoes, coconut milk and stock – stay woke, tidy Kiwis and wash the cans out with the stock. Stir everything together and bring to a gentle boil.

Turn the heat down and simmer for around 20 minutes, stirring occasionally so the lentils don't weld themselves to the bottom of your pot. 

If it gets too thick, add a splash of water. Too thin? Simmer it a little longer. Once the lentils are soft, taste check and add more salt and garam masala to taste, or even chilli if you live with brave flatties.

Naan 

Ingredients

• 2 cups of plain flour.
• ½ tsp of baking powder.
• 1 tsp salt.
• ½ cup plain yoghurt – none of that strawberry tripe
• ½ cup warm water, added gradually
• 1 tbsp olive oil

Method
Chuck dry ingredients in a bowl – that's the flour, baking powder, and salt.

Add the yoghurt and oil, then gradually add the water while mixing until a soft dough forms. You might not need all of it.

Knead or punch, depending how badly your week is going, for a few minutes until smooth, then divide into four-six pieces. Flatten each one into a rough oval with your hands or a rolling pin if you’re a posh-o.

Heat a frying pan until very hot (essentially hazardously hot). Cook each naan for around 1–2 minutes per side, until they’re all puffed up with some nice browned spots.

Eat them while they’re hot. They will never be better than they are at this exact moment.

Anyway, Go Forth and Eat

Hey, you. Yes, I'm talking to you. I know you ordered takeout while you were living in halls. Y'know, the place where you annually pay the equivalent of the prime minister's salary for lodging, heating, energy, and oh, I don't know – regularly scheduled food? 

So this time, before you open Uber Eats, make one of these instead. Your bank account will thank you, your flatmates might even say "grand," and maybe – just maybe, I'll forgive you for your 1st-year crimes against good budgeting