Archive

Chargrills: STEAK SALAD

Posted 1:50pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's mid-winter. Buy wine instead of a box and use the excess money to buy feta and orange kumara. You deserve it. Get the veggies in and get the flu out. Life’s short, eat good food and your body will thank you.    Ingredients    600g of rump or blade steak Read more...

Editorial: Begin the Warpath

Posted 1:48pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I often write these columns with second-years in mind, because that’s usually who reads this magazine. And so I tend to write silly little editorials with fun facts and stories in them because life is already pretty stressful and depressing and the last thing a second-year wants is another Read more...

An Open Letter from the POAG Organising Committee

Posted 1:40pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Student life is marked by so many indignities that you’re supposed to accept: the cold, the debt, the lack of nutrition, the shift work for petty tyrants. All the labours that make you question your life choices and whether it’ll be worth it for some shining future. It gets worse, Read more...

Booze review: MAJOR MAJOR

Posted 1:38pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

DUDE, before MAJOR MAJOR came into my life, I would have never had the confidence to drill a hole into the Vice Chancellor’s office and fill it with bees, but now with MAJOR MAJOR I’m living my true university experience! Let’s all go break bottles on the try-line of Victoria Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: On the rag

Posted 1:32pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

I was just about to leave for uni, so me and my girlfriend at the time wanted to tick as many boxes as we could. We had a pretty kinky sex life – think like, rough rough – but at that point our sex had mostly been box-ticking, so to speak. However, on one fateful and particularly horny Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 4:54pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 As the semester kicks off, it appears there is some romance waiting in the wings for you. Don’t let your commitment issues or dark humour scare this potential lover off; try and be remotely normal for once.  Self care Sunday moment: Rotting with a Read more...

Local Produce: ​​Paradox Princess

Posted 4:52pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

“Quite like Barbara but don’t fuck with cops, I’m coming to Shorty in a crop top,” Paradox Princess spits on her track ‘Utopia For Sale.’ Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Paradox Princess to talk about her upcoming album ‘Creating A Time Read more...

Booze review: GIN

Posted 4:48pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Gin is medicine; it’s true. I was prescribed it, along with heroin, by my 19th century doctor. He says, “It takes the edge off of Mondays.” I miss the days when you could be prescribed alcohol by a doctor. You know you’re a special case when your doctor says, “Jesus, Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi Bowls but fod-friendly

Posted 4:46pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s still cold again. You know where it’s still NOT cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there again. But this time we have a sensitive tummy. Sand between toes, Trump caps everywhere. The sound of breaking waves but no rumbly, gassy tummy. Just hunger. Perfect. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...