Horoscopes: Week 23

Posted 9:11pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, you should be proud of the progress you have made this year. Your journey of inner peace and comfort has been a great success, and you should give yourself a pat on the back for this.  Crime to investigate: Which flatmate stole your Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 22

Posted 7:11pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You need to understand boundaries and really assess your importance in some people's lives. You tend to overstep and while you may mean well, it can come off as inappropriate to others.  Goal for the week: hitting all your steps.   Pisces Feb Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 21

Posted 8:38pm Saturday 3rd September 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Sometimes, your airheaded ways can cause you to drift off, leaving you un-present during conversations. Work on this and learn how to live in the moment, as this time of life is often so fleeting.  Hangover cure: more shots.    Pisces Feb 19 Read more...

Roboscopes: Week 20

Posted 5:25pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Critic

We used an AI to generate these, but ran out of our free trial halfway through. You can see where we switched to a shittier free one.   Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Once you've put yourself in the right frame of mind, you'll be ready to start flirting up a storm. Whether Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 3:15pm Monday 15th August 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, you’ve been working hard, and getting your priorities in check. You are on the cusp of a new phase of your life. Keep taking the right steps forward, and keep your eyes on the prize.  Healthy coping mechanism to try: making your coffee at Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 17

Posted 4:45pm Sunday 31st July 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 NO, don’t order that UberEats! Get the fuck up and do your grocery shopping. And buy some kiwifruit while you’re there. When was the last time you took a shit that wasn’t pebbles? Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Make the flat a Sunday Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 6:31pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Things are going well, aren’t they? The progress you’ve been seeing will continue so long as your attitude remains positive. Don’t get yourself down. Fun way to spice up the bedroom this week: Roleplay as the cast of Cars Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 14

Posted 12:44pm Sunday 10th July 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 If you’re reading this, it’s a sign to abandon all sense of responsibility and chase your dreams. Don’t let social norms confine you.  Re-O Activity: A skiing getaway.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Chances are, you’re Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 13

Posted 7:24pm Sunday 29th May 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Sometimes, you need to take some time out for yourself. Things have been rough, and you’ve been going through it. But just remember, there is light at the end of this tumultuous tunnel.  Exam de-stress: a walk in the botans.   Pisces Feb 19 Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 10

Posted 2:40pm Sunday 8th May 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 If there’s one thing you need, it’s self control. Make sure to check yourself and reel it in every now and again.  Artistic activity: screenprinting an old item of clothing.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Is it hyperfixation? Is it an ego Read more...