DCC Planning Controversial Merger with Comics Giant DC

Posted 9:34pm Thursday 5th April 2018

In a move that is angering fans of the local government authority, the Dunedin City Council has announced a merger with Detective Comics. “Nothing in the DC Universe persuades me that they have any respect for city councils,” said one die-hard fan of the DCC. “Their Read more...

The Critical Tribune | Issue 05

Posted 11:37pm Thursday 22nd March 2018

Report: Most Snapchat Group Snaps Are Just Hungover Dudes Talking About How Hungover They Are According to figures released by Snap Inc, upwards of 80% of male Snapchat group conversations are just dudes lying in bed dying of alcohol poisoning the night after they all got drunk together. Read more...

Real Facts | Issue 05

Posted 10:51pm Thursday 22nd March 2018

In his lecture notes, Stephen Hawking wrote “Galeelaeo” and “Ahristottal” so that his speech synthesizer would pronounce the scientists’ names correctly. The term “slapstick” comes from a device used in 16th-century Italian stage comedy — a stick Read more...

The Post Fact World | Issue 05

Posted 10:49pm Thursday 22nd March 2018

Paper is made out of trees, therefore books must be made out of very big trees Sunglasses are actually made to shield the sun from our harsh, judgy eyes ‘Vagina’, ‘vulture’ and ‘vuvuzela’ all come from the same Greek word meaning ‘scary’ Salad Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Drake and Josh

Posted 8:19pm Thursday 22nd March 2018

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to the Dog With Two Tails. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz Drake I turned up to my blind date with some liquid courage hoping to find a Read more...

Real Facts | Issue 04

Posted 10:55pm Thursday 15th March 2018

John Lennon and George Harrison once got a bus across Liverpool to visit a man who could teach them the chord B7. In the late Middle Ages, books were so valuable that libraries would chain them to the bookcase. This was widely practiced until the 18th century. Ladybird sex sessions can last Read more...

14 Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Post Malone

Posted 10:51pm Thursday 15th March 2018

Post Malone translates in Latin as “after-dinner mints” Post Malone is named after Posts Malone, a fencing company in Malone, Florida A “Malone” is a male lone Post Malone and Childish Gambino are actually Siamese twins Post Malone is the only person to ever be 77 Read more...

The Critical Tribune | Issue 04

Posted 10:11pm Thursday 15th March 2018

Lecturer Tells IT Person to Get Fucked He’s had it. After ten years of computers, OHPs and sound systems not working in lectures, a brave lecturer has finally told a patronising member of the IT support staff to get fucked. Students in the first year class couldn’t believe what Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Nakia and T'Challa

Posted 9:16pm Thursday 15th March 2018

Nakia I’ve heard some tragic stories about these blind dates, but what’s the worst thing that could happen, right? After months of good old peer pressure from the girls, I thought I’d spice up my life and finally gave in. I made quite the entrance when my friend dropped me Read more...

The Butt-Loving Generation

Posted 9:06pm Thursday 15th March 2018

Asses are trending. Belfies are flooding Instagram. Songs like “Anaconda” and “Wiggle” became viral sensations. Brazilian butt lifts increased by 53% in 2013, and women are flooding to the gym to squat their life away. Previously, asking “does this dress make my butt Read more...