The latest online craze predicted to sweep the University of Otago is “Blackboard Dating”, after enterprising business student Sam Love last week used Blackboard’s group email function to attempt to charm a girl known only as “Sarah”.
In a move both innovative and profoundly retarded (noted hallmarks of BComm students at Otago), Love, recently single, sent a message to “Sarah” on Blackboard proclaiming his interest in her. In an attempt to make sure the message reached “Sarah”, Love sent the love note to every student enrolled in BSNS104, BSNS106, MANT214 and SPAN231. Now that’s commitment.
In his missive, Love utilised the lessons learnt in his 100-level Commerce papers, making sure he stressed the quality of his offering in order to maximise his chances at securing the affections of “Sarah”. Not only did Love note that “I know I’m a good looking guy”, he also informed the reader of his high level of proficiency at various board sports, particularly surfing, in which the Love-machine has competed “at the top level”.
Love also made sure that his prospective date could get in contact, leaving both a Facebook link and a contact phone number in an effort to ensure communication breakdown did not hamper the fostering of a truly spectacular romance. This is a man destined for greatness.
Critic visited Love in the flesh, and received a warm welcome. The second year BComm student was excited that the mainstream media was picking up on his new approach to dating. Love reported that his Facebook friend count had increased by “at least 15 people” and that he had received more than ten text messages in response to his lonely hearts email.
One of these text messages was apparently from a “real girl” called Sarah, though it was unclear whether this was the Sarah, or merely some predator cashing in on the good fortune of sharing a name with the Valkyrie that had caught Love’s eye.
In addition to achieving a successful romantic response, Love has also cottoned on to a business opportunity, with one of the respondents keen to engage Love’s services to learn surfing.
Despite the phenomenal response to his email, Love was adamant that he would have received a much better response if Blackboard had the facility to upload photos. Love suggested that the University’s IT department should take a real look at allowing the attachment of photos to such emails, especially when the sender was as good-looking as him.
The University’s Business School declined to comment on the issue. Critic speculates this is because all staff are feverishly writing their own romantic emails in anticipation of Blackboard’s reassignment as a dating hub for well-educated singles. We like to speculate.
Business School tests Blackboard-based dating service?
