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The art of streaking holds a curious place in New Zealand sporting culture. On the one hand very few people will go on record condoning the act. Broadcasters have gone as far as to pretend it doesn’t happen. They would rather cut to abstract shots of close-up grass than give a streaker the prize of appearing on air. If commentators even dare to mention a streaker on air, they describe the nudist as “some idiot” or “a lunatic.”

On the other hand the general public commonly celebrates streakers. The “offender” becomes a hero to their mates and the rest of the crowd. I have been to hundreds of sports events and at no time have I heard a streaker get booed. Often the loudest roar of the night is reserved for these bold naturalists.

From Will Ferrell streaking through the quad to that hot chick who got her tits out at the Queenstown Sevens that year, streakers are celebrated by Joe Blow. It’s a victimless crime that appeals to our wonderful New Zealand sensibility of being “outrageous” just so long as nobody gets hurt.

When Critic added a note at the bottom of John Burton’s wonderful piece on the league last week calling for the streaker from the Warriors game to get in touch, we didn’t hold out much hope. But when Tuesday rolled around, a happy little surprise was sitting in my inbox.

So, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, the name of the streaker photographed at the Warriors game with Ruben Wiki’s nose in his butt (commonly referred to as a sooty bear) is … Phillip Puckey of Auckland.

Critic was able to have a quick chat with Phillip to ask him what it’s like having a naked cuddle with Ruben Wiki.

Turns out Phil isn’t even a student:
“I’m having a wee bit of a holiday while working for my old man in Auckland. I’m going to apply for the navy dive course in a bit. I was in Dunedin visiting a few mates.”

Motivation?
“I decided five minutes before half time that it was going to happen. My mates just said that they bet I wouldn’t. I’ve got one mate who’s always been a bit of a bad influence on me.”

The plan?
“I don’t know how the idea came about but I was all for it. Before half time we wandered down under the Zoo. There is a tunnel which is unmanned, it’s the perfect entry point. I stripped down, had my undies in my hand, gave my clothes and my phone to my mate and I was off. The Zoo were all cheering me on and I just went for it.”

Then what?
“I did alright until Ruben Wiki nailed me. He passed me on to a couple of other security guards. I managed to wriggle away from those guys and made another bit of a run for it. I managed to step one security guard and make it to the fence but they got me again. He [Ruben Wiki] hits hard. I’m still pretty sore now to be honest. I was full of adrenaline so it didn’t hurt at the time, but he got me, he got me good.”

Getting caught?
“I think a couple of the security guards were angry. When they got me I was still really naked and I’d dropped my pants just before the fence. I asked them for my shorts back but only one of them wanted to give them back to me. The police thought it was a big joke. They were really good about it.

“I got put in the holding cells till about midnight. While I was walking back to my mates’ house a couple of people recognised me from the game and were handing me beers and stuff as I walked past. I was a temporary celebrity.”

Grabaseat have since been in touch with Philip and proposed a re-match with Wiki at the next Warriors home game. At the time of going to print this was unconfirmed. As yet Marc Ellis has not been in touch about paying the fine, and Critic could not reach him for comment. Philip Puckey is banned from Forsyth Barr Stadium for two years, and faces a court appearance this week and a likely fine.

Well done to Ben Thomas who receives a finder’s badge.