News

Despite being irresponsible, binge-drinking slops who rarely attend class and mostly just waste the government’s money at the rate of $170 a week, Dunedin students are apparently not riddled with venereal disease.

Following the election of new OUSA President Logan Edgar, many have been expecting STI levels to reach pandemic proportions among the student population, after Edgar surged to victory on the back of a sexually-charged campaign that seemed poised to usher in a new age of free love in the student ghetto.

However, Critic’s research has shown that levels of STIs among Dunedin students in 2010 were relatively low, with only the most common STI, chlamydia, registering any significant showing among the student population; a fact that bodes well for infection control during Edgar’s term.

Figures that Critic obtained courtesy of Student Health indicate that 4.09% of students who tested for chlamydia in 2010 registered a positive result. This compares with an 8% incidence of positive results found in a Family Planning Association of New Zealand study that screened patients at Wellington clinics, and similar rates have been reported in other studies among the New Zealand population.

In total, 113 positive results for chlamydia were recorded at Student Health in 2010. Genital warts was the only other STI to present in a significant number of students, with 62 cases registered.

Other STIs were comparatively rare, with herpes managing a tally of just 25, while gonorrhea was found in just four sloppy students.

The rarest STI, however, was syphilis, for which only two positive results were recorded in 2010. Syphilis has been enjoying a minor renaissance worldwide since the turn of the century, after infection rates were severely curbed in the decades following the discovery of penicillin. Many famous historical figures have been rumoured to have suffered from the potentially debilitating disease, including Henry VIII, Al Capone and Mussolini, a fact that doubtless provided little comfort for the two unfortunates who contracted it last year.

Overall, the relatively low incidences of most STIs among students suggest at least some were paying attention in sex ed, and President Edgar welcomed the findings, saying that he thought “these figures show students are making solid, mature decisions, even when they are out of their tree on a tray of SoGos.”

Edgar also added that he hadn’t seen numbers as low as these since he checked out how his opponents polled in that Presidential by-election a while back. Ooh snap.

Student Health stated that despite the figures it was important for students to remember to use condoms and practice safe sex, and encouraged any students who are concerned that they may have been exposed to an STI to make an appointment to have a checkup.