With an eager crowd watching and the sun shining overhead, a football game kicked off on Logan Park last Sunday, March 8th. Usually, that’d be nothing out of the ordinary. But if passersby cared to look a little closer, they’d see that gangly adolescent limbs had been traded with the brains and (some) brawn of local politicians and University of Otago staff.
According to a post made on the University’s Facebook, the idea for the match stemmed from a conversation between MP Scott Willis and Otago staff members Phil Kelly and Professor Hugh Campbell. What do a Green MP, a HUBS Senior Professional Practice Fellow and the Pro-Vice Chancellor of Humanities have in common? Social football, apparently. Critic Te Ārohi would have killed to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.
Team Politicians had a star studded lineup including New Zealand First’s Andy Foster, the Green Party’s Scott Willis, Teanau Tuionu and Mike Davidson and Labour’s Rachel Brooking. Additionally, the Waitaki District Council came out in full force, contributing high-performers Melanie Tavendale, Rebecca Ryan and Jeremy Holding to the fixture.
Team University was not in bad shape either. Kushla Glover, Susan Houge-MacKenzie, Graeme Marshall, Pierre Rivollet, Mel McAtamney, Chris Button, Jim Headley, Melanie Beres, Tracey Howell, Maddy Perkins-Craig, Neil Vallelly, Fraser Hunter, Mark Glover and Neil Kelly took the field. While Critic won’t list every department the team hailed from, players came far and wide from Property Services, to Sociology and Trade Services. It was a brilliant, motley, Guardians of the Galaxy-eque crew.
The players were, to Critic’s pleasant surprise, rather skilled. While Otago scored the first goal of the game, the politicians weren’t far behind. The first quarter wrapped up 1-1 with a few too many heavy touches from both teams and some close misses.
Moving into the second quarter, both teams started playing it a little less safe. University with some risky passes, but the Politicians taking it a step further landing a header in their own goal. Would’ve been a stunner of a header if it had been the right way. Team University scored once again through some swift passing, and a blatant lack of defence from the Politicians, bringing the score to a neat 2-1. With friendly heckling from the Politicians, and both sides advising their less experienced teammates, the game had a great energy. Critic’s only critique (ha!) was an acute lack of orange slices at halftime, arguably removing the main highlight when playing any footy match. Shocking work.
The third quarter saw the Politicians coming back with a vengeance, and increasing the pressure. There was tension in the air as a decision from referee Philip Kelly was disputed by Team University – things were coming to a head. Speaking of heads, Critic is very concerned by the amount of wicked headers: the University’s centre back managed to land at least four, hopefully not at too much of a cost to the brain cells needed to teach students. One Otago player took a shot to the jewels, successfully stopping the ball (and himself) with this method. The Politicians’ keeper was completely locked in despite having no gear. The commitment demonstrated so far was only outdone by Otago’s defender launching himself perfectly parallel through the air for no apparent reason, or visible results.
The Politicians cracked into the final quarter with a swift goal, which was immediately discounted as offside, but they scored again in protest. Despite both teams visibly becoming tired, and a few more hits to each other's special places, Otago took the win with a 4-3 score at full time.
So are Politicians or Professors better at football? Perhaps with just a few more minutes the Politicians would’ve taken it, but until next year, Team University reigns supreme. Critic eagerly awaits the rematch.
