“Curry Grenade” Smashes Through Castle St Window

“Curry Grenade” Smashes Through Castle St Window

These UberEats drivers are really getting out of hand

A Castle St resident got a rude shock on Sunday 11 September, when their first-floor room’s window was smashed by a “curry grenade” hurled from a nearby flat. 

Elaina told Critic Te Ārohi that she was sitting downstairs with her flatmates when she heard “a massive smash”. Thinking the sound came from a downstairs room, they went to investigate, but didn’t end up finding anything out of the ordinary. 

However, a short time later, she headed up to her room to prepare for work, and that was when she stumbled across “the scene of the crime”. Photos posted by Elaina to the Castle 22 Facebook group showed the grizzly aftermath of the “curry grenade” attack: her bedroom window was covered in cracks and curry stains, while chunks of meat and shards of glass adorned the bedroom carpet. Curry sauce was splattered across Elaina’s bedroom wall, duvet and pillow, but an elephant soft toy on her bed remained remarkably untouched. Preliminary expert analysis of the photographs suggest a mild butter chicken was the saucy culprit in this instance.

According to Elaina, “boys from the house a couple [of flats] over were having a rowdy wee school reunion,” and in a twist that surprised absolutely nobody, the boys’ reunion “got a bit outta hand… [and] their flat got wrecked as well”. At some point during the celebrations, someone hurled a container of curry through her window. Naturally. To add insult to injury, “as I was cleaning it up, they continued to chuck stuff at our house for no reason at all.” She admitted that the whole situation “was kinda funny, lowkey, but very not ideal”.

There was, however, a (somewhat) happy ending to this tragic tale: according to Elaina, after the event, “one of the guys from the flat messaged me apologising for his mates.” The boys’ flat even offered to pick up the tab to repair Elaina’s window. She had no complaints about their behaviour afterwards, saying they were “super lovely and helpful about it”. 

Next time, though, she probably would appreciate a side of naan to clean up the mess.

This article first appeared in Issue 23, 2022.
Posted 9:55pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Denzel Chung.