Features

 
 
Donald Trump:
It wasn’t all plain sailing for the rich cat with the killer do. Trumpykins (as he likes to be called) suffered heavily in the recession of the late ‘80s, amassing serious amounts of debt and even going into business bankruptcy (not to be confused with personal bankruptcy – he is touchy about this). As we all know, Trump made it back on top and was the face of the original Apprentice series, inspiring our favourite wog.
 
Terry Serepisos:
King wogsy. Serepisos has received a lot of media attention recently due to allegations regarding his massive debts to the Wellington City Council. Combined with his debts to the Hutt City Council, these have been reported to be at over $2 million. That’s some cash. He’s since said he’s paid everything that wasn’t overdue. Amid all this government debt, claims have also emerged regarding unpaid contractors and Terry’s use of stand-over tactics. In an incident Serepisos has claimed is unrelated to all these allegations, he recently sold one of his Ferraris, because he didn’t need it. “What's the point of owning a beautiful car if you're not driving it?”
 
Bernard Madoff:
Unlike most of his peers on this page, Wall Street heavyweight Bernard “Bernie” Madoff is a celebrity because of his financial scandal – he set up the largest Ponzi scheme in history. For the lesser informed, a Ponzi scheme basically entails an operation whereby the brokers repay investors with money from subsequent investors, rather than using actual profits. Madoff’s scheme is estimated to have robbed investors of $65 billion. Madoff is currently serving a 150-year sentence, and has been moved around several prisons as the result of alleged ‘scraps’.
 
Krusty the Klown:
In the seventh season of The Simpsons, Bart inadvertently exposes Krusty’s massive tax fraud. Long story short, one of the biggest falls from grace ensues (yes, bigger than Veitchy). Krusty fakes his own death and begins life again as a lowly fisherman named Rory B. Bellows. Eventually, Krusty is convinced to come back to his old life, and to prove that dreams can come true; he manages to do so.
 
Jerry Lee Lewis:
For a man who created ‘Great Balls of Fire’, Jerry Lee Lewis certainly is a financial fuck up. Perhaps overwhelming his bank balance however was the fact the Lewis married his 13-year-old second cousin, once removed. This marked an unwanted hiatus for Lewis, as fans and media chose to boycott the star. Lewis eventually made it back into the limelight, but in 1988 filed for bankruptcy with millions in debt. He goes the distance in providing an excellent example for the term ‘washed-up’.
 
Kevin Bacon:
The acclaimed star of films such as Hollow Man and Wild Things is in the job market after investing in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme and losing millions. Unlike most actors, Bacon doesn’t have the luxury of using his ‘good looks’ to get himself work, relying on talent alone (ha), and directors looking for someone sleazy to play an invisible rapist. Typecast.
 
Walt Disney:
The angry American success story didn’t enjoy the smoothest of runs. Ol’ Walt filed for personal bankruptcy early on in the piece when he couldn’t pay his staff. He did, of course, go on to build the Disney Empire, but being Kiwis with tall poppy syndrome we should definitely focus on his fuck-ups.
 
Stephen Versalko:
Former ASB investment advisor Stephen Versalko is also famous because he fucked up. He was recently jailed for six years, for stealing $18 million from customers, over $3 million of which he blew on prostitutes. While many of you may be thinking “what a garry,” he preyed on the elderly in his very own Ponzi scheme (yes this is a recurring theme). What a goooood cunt. Still, at least he got roots.
 
Britney Spears:
Most of us are aware of the mess Britney managed to get herself into, what with the drug addiction and marrying K-Fed and all. She also managed to narrowly avoid bankruptcy following ridiculous spending habits, all in the midst of addiction and custody dramas. Starting out as a slutty yet apparently still virginal singer, Spears managed to well and truly fuck it all up, but has since embarked on a comeback embracing her new brand, where she now has ‘edge.’
 
Eric Watson:
This New Zealand rich-lister, made famous through his affiliation with trashy B-Lister Nicky Watson, was one of the majority shareholders in the failed investment company Hanover Finance. Despite the organisation freezing over $500 million of investor money in 2008, Watson still managed to cut himself a $40 million slice. Last year, he blew hundreds of thousands on a luxurious 50th birthday party complete with celebrity guests, in the Sirkeci train station in Turkey, home of the Orient Express. Suffice to say, those who lost thousands in Hanover were fairly unimpressed.