Critic Te Arohi had a chat with Danny, a third year student who, according to the Geography department, takes up 60% of discussion time in tutorials.
“I mean, I don’t really do the readings but I just kinda catch the vibe,” he told Critic through hoons that he blew in our face (mint flavour too, the worst kind). “I feel like I probably have the most important opinions out of everyone in the class? I mean yeah sometimes people try to say shit about the readings, but if they’re a girl I can talk over them pretty easily to get participation credit. Nobody minds though, because it makes it go faster.”
Critic tracked down some of the other students in Danny’s tutorials, such as Madison, who should probably look into a career in poetry. “Danny’s a Shakespeare of shit, and I hate him with a passion.” Violently throwing a Monster in the bin, she continues. “He constantly talks over people, and nobody likes him. He literally has no idea what he’s talking about, and just says the same thing in different ways. I bet you 100 bucks he doesn’t even do the readings.” Well, she’s not wrong! Her fellow classmate Abby echoes that sentiment. “Dipshit Danny? Oh yeah, I hate him. Bane of my goddamn existence. He doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, I once made a point then he immediately just said what I said but 1000x worse.”
“Yeah, I bring a lot to discussions, I’m only pulling a B- though, don’t know why,” concluded Danny.