Moaningful Confessions | A Cocktower Confession

Moaningful Confessions | A Cocktower Confession

Once upon a time, in a place not too far away, your girl did something a lil’ bit nasty on Uni grounds. I had been going to some university events which I shall not name, in the sake of protecting my identity and, well, my ego. While I was there, I met a pretty cute boy whom I shall call [redacted]. 

I had noticed him from afar but had not ventured off to have a chat, as I was feeling quite shy. I thought he was way out of my league. After a couple of weeks of continuous flirting, we had a big BYO. At this time, I may have gotten a bit silly and started to feel that dutch courage working its magic. On the walk home from the BYO, the boy and I started chatting and man, the way he looked at me gave me those good ol’ fanny flutters.

Fast forward to the afters, and I was even more drunk and doing a lot of seductive dancing around him. I’m no Shakira but I’m not your drunk dad at a BBQ, either. This is when it started to get good. He grabbed me and took me into the bathroom at this flat and we started passionately making out, he grabbed my ass and put me on top of the sink pressing himself closer. I hopped off the sink and proceeded to rip my favourite pair of jeans so badly that my bum was sticking out. This only fuelled the fire. 

I gave him head, both of us so turned on that we realised we needed to leave this bathroom. We sheepishly and conspicuously left the flat party, him with a boner on and me with my bum out, like God intended. The trek to my flat included a walk through campus so we decided to make the most of it. We walked through the archway towards the Quad lecture buildings and he pulled me down these dodgy dark stairs that led only to a concrete wall. 

Not a bad spot, so I turned around and he slipped it in. Pretty proud of this, we carried on, but there was this giant, tall building, all lit up, that caught our eye. It was a building that would make a great backdrop for, say, grad photos. You know the one. It was the Clocktower building. We excitedly walked over and I assumed my position. Pressed against the entrance to the clocktower building I admired the scenery of campus while he thrust it in and out. Finished, we made ourselves as presentable as possible (with my ass hanging out) and continued the walk home. 

Now, if nothing else, I’ll bet you anything that this story will make your future grad photos hit different. There’s like a 99% chance that you’re gonna take your grad shots in the same place I stood while I took his cumshots. And I hope that cursed knowledge sticks with you forever.

 

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Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. 

This article first appeared in Issue 4, 2022.
Posted 3:19pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Critic.