Horoscope

Horoscope

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

It’s time to give yourself a pat on the back. It’s nearly the end of the year, and you’ve made it this far. Keep pushing onwards my Aquarians xx 

Habit to break: procrastination

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

I’ve never met a pisces who wasn’t cool, hot and smart. But, don’t let your ego get to you, especially with those mid terms.

Habit to break: over committing to things 

 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Stuck in lockdown with your flatties? Try going for a morning run to rid yourself of pent up rage.

Habit to break: having a short temper 

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

The burden of responsibility and logic is getting the better of you. Stop having your head in the books and try to live a little. Watch a movie, go to a gig, throw up in a club, get arrested. 

Habit to break: studying till you burn out 

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

Don’t listen to all the things your flatmates are saying. It can be hard to control both your personalities. 

Habits to break: smoking 

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

Desperate times call for desperate measures. In this case, desperate measures means alcohol. 

Habits to break: cynicism

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

You are an expert at calling bullshit - but there’s a time and a place, and it’s not on the piss. Try not to ruin any relationships in drunken rage. 

Habit to break: projecting your opinion onto others 

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Lockdown will give you some much needed time for study and reflection. Things are on the up! 

Habit to break: self criticism 

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

You should start taking more control over your finances, that means you can buy more outfits for the upcoming spring season. 

Habit to break: being irresponsible 

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

It can be tough at the top, baby! Remember, don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang. Keep soldiering on. 

Habit to break: caring what others think

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Eat a fucking bagel. It will do wonders for you. Cream cheese is best for filling. Hit different after a hangover. 

Habit to break: holding onto toxic relationships 

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

One day, try choosing emotion over logic. Why do you always have to be the sensible friend? It’s time to fuck shit up. 

Habit to break: fixing other people’s problems 

This article first appeared in Issue 20, 2021.
Posted 4:13pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Critic.