Fresher Denies Kissing His Mother

Fresher Denies Kissing His Mother

Ethan, a fresher at UniCol, has insisted that he “didn’t even” get a kiss from his mum as she was saying goodbye after a recent visit. 

Ethan’s parents were down from Auckland on a business trip and “just thought they’d pop by and see how Ethan was doing”. Despite Ethan’s mopey demeanour they decided to take him out for a nice dinner. After a lovely dinner at a local restaurant, Ethan was being dropped off in his parents’ rental car when the alleged kiss occurred. 

A group of Ethan’s mates claim they saw his mum lean over from the central console from the passenger seat and peck him on the cheek. As his mates started mercilessly ripping into him, he went bright red and insisted that “mum didn’t even kiss me, she was just leaning into the back to get her scarf”. This somewhat dubious excuse failed to keep his mates at bay and he became sulky almost immediately.

While many took this opportunity to attack Ethan, some girls saw this as a sign of a softer side to the so-far breatherish fresher. One girl at UniCol, Stacey, said: “I think it’s really cute that Ethan still has a good relationship with his mum. At least when he got embarrassed it showed he was capable of expressing at least three emotions.”

This article first appeared in Issue 18, 2021.
Posted 2:37am Monday 9th August 2021 by The Critical Tribune.