Booze Reviews | Soju

Booze Reviews | Soju

Following in the footsteps of Marco Polo I embarked on a tasting of the Korean spirit soju. Originally brewed as a pure spirit, soju now comes in a range of fruit flavours. I selected three flavours from the Chateul Soorok brand for consideration. I’ll be honest I had never even heard of Soju before today, but I do know that it gets you on an excellent level. Soju has opened my eyes to a whole new genre of drink, it is like wine but also ass-water. As I’m writing this at the end of my sampling session I can say the buzz is extensive and pleasant and, at the end of the day, isn’t that what really matters?

 

Original

The original soju is, just that, original. It is a neutral spirit with a very fruity edge. If we compare the drinkability of soju to vodka, it is clear that soju is the superior beverage. While vodka packs a punch with 40%, this is countered by the drinkability of soju, which comes in at 20%. You could down an entire bottle of soju without experiencing any pain whatsoever. Additionally, in true mukbang style, I ate an entire chicken from Nandos before embarking on my tasting session. I was struggling to move, but the soju worked fantastically in staving off my food coma.

Tastes like: An orchard

Froth level: Vodka without the suffering

Pairs well with: Eating large amounts of food

Taste rating: 7/10

 

Peach

I can imagine that people who enjoy the peach flavour of soju are also the people that are seriously into Harry Potter as fully grown adults. It’s fine, but you need to shut the fuck up about it and read another book. I couldn’t help but grimace as I reluctantly downed the last half of my glass. These flavoured varieties are also only 14% so I’d expect an improvement on flavour for the reduction in strength, but it just tastes like that build up you get on your teeth after vaping. 

Tastes like: Vape flavours 

Froth level: Targeted marketing 

Pairs well with: Nicotine, fortnite, Dobby

Taste rating: 4/10 

 

Moscato

I don’t know what moscato means and at the end of this tasting session I lacked the reading comprehension skills to investigate further. The standout taste is reminiscent of Hubba Bubba grape flavor, however the sweetness is not too strong. Compared to the absolute failure of the peach variety, balance has been achieved between the sweetness and the alcohol. The general taste of this drink could best be described as the colour purple.

Tastes like: Purple 

Froth level: Those massive metre-long sticks of gum you could get as a kid.

Pairs well with: Lo-Fi hip-hop beats to study to, sitting around doing nothing, not having a personality

Taste rating: 8/10

This article first appeared in Issue 10, 2021.
Posted 4:14pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Chug Norris.