Judith Collins Eyes Vice-Chancellorship

Judith Collins Eyes Vice-Chancellorship

After a slew of dismal polling numbers and backstabbing within the National Party, Leader of the Opposition Judith “Crusher” Collins is in talks with Otago Uni executives for the vacant role of Vice-Chancellor.

Whispers of yet another leadership change in the National Party have dominated the political news cycle in recent weeks and this report confirms those suspicions. A source in the National Party said that the VC position is a “logical step” for Collins, claiming she gave up on her “dream of ruining young people’s lives as Prime Minister” and is now looking to ruin the lives of the largest swath of young people she can find. Vice-Chancellor of Otago would be “a natural career move” for Collins, the source explained.

Rumours are spreading around Parliament about whether newly minted MP Christopher Luxon will be leading the coup against Collins, or whether former leader Simon Bridges will attempt to take back his old position. 

An inside source tells The Critical Tribune there may be a third candidate throwing their hat in the ring. “I’ve heard Simon’s Baby Yak from 2020 is looking to capitalise on its five minutes of fame and is interested in stepping into the role. If that’s the case I’ll be voting for them for sure.”

This article first appeared in Issue 7, 2021.
Posted 1:28am Monday 19th April 2021 by The Critical Tribune.