Bone Apple Teeth | Breakfast Burrito: the Best Hangover Food of Your Life

Bone Apple Teeth | Breakfast Burrito: the Best Hangover Food of Your Life

Hangovers are tricky. Once you get past the nausea, the shitting and the headaches, rapid hunger sets in. Whilst Macca’s and KFC are iconic options, I really, really don’t want to leave my house, even in a car (and no I don’t want to pay $20 on UberEats for a $3 cheeseburger). So, to the kitchen cabinets we turn. This recipe is inspired by Molly Baz’s Crunch Wrap XTREME, whose soothing Instagram story got me through a particularly heinous Wednesday morning. I changed things up a bit based on what I liked and what I had in the pantry, although I did go to the supermarket to purchase a single tomato. The line between cool and sad is a fine one, and putting a single tomato on a checkout really straddles that line. Anyway, this thing is fucking delicious: a crunchy, fried tortilla bursting with salty, briny, fresh and spicy goodness. Best of all, whilst the fried tortilla satisfies your greasy longings, the tomato and dill help to leave you feeling not too disgusting afterwards. Perfection. May your dusty Sundays never be the same again.

Serves 1

Ingredients

  • 1 baby gherkin (just buy a jar and scoop one out. Eat the rest in your room at 2am, with glee)
  • Half a tomato
  • Couple of slices of feta cheese (or a cheese of your choice)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tortilla (big and strong, please)
  • 2 hearty squirts of garlic aioli
  • Sriracha/tabasco/whatever chilli sauce you have

 

Method

  1. Slice your half tomato and baby gherkin. With your tomato, salt it and place on a paper towel to draw moisture out— no one likes a soggy burrito.
  2. In a pan, on medium, heat up some oil/butter. Then, add your eggs, placing them on the pan as if you were frying them sunny side up. With a spatula, start to scramble the whites around, being careful not to disturb the yolk. Once the whites are fully scrambled, pierce the yolk and scramble them in. This will all take less than a minute and you’ll want to take the eggs off the heat pretty soon after piercing the yolks for a nice moist, marbled scramble. Season with salt and pepper.
  3. Assembly time. Get your garlic aioli and spread it all over your tortilla - you can use a knife to smooth it out, you want it thick but not too thick. Leave some aioli-less space around the edges of the tortilla. Place your scrambled eggs in a single line, about ⅓ into the tortilla. On top, add your feta, tomatoes and gherkin. Splatter with your sriracha/tabasco, season with salt and pepper.
  4. To roll up your tortilla, turn it so that the bit with egg on it is closest to you. Fold the sides in, then fold the bottom up and roll, tucking if necessary as you go. This makes the perfect, non-mess burrito.
  5. Heat up some butter/oil on medium in a pan. Place your tortilla, flipping when golden brown on both sides. Enjoy. And take some Panadol for your headache.
This article first appeared in Issue 20, 2020.
Posted 9:34pm Thursday 24th September 2020 by Caroline Moratti and Alice Jones.